


Red Water

by limes_and_kiwis



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, a jinchuuriki oc story nobody asked for but happened anyway, abuse in her past, along with death and blood, on a bit of a break, what you would expect from a child living as a weapon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 13:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5335604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limes_and_kiwis/pseuds/limes_and_kiwis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sacrifice is made for the greater good, as civil war sends the noble clans of Kiri into despair- only, killing Yagura, the previous host of the three tails, wasn't enough, and brought more bloodshed. An AU in which the Sanbi is sealed into another host, and pretty much everything goes wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for I have sinned. 
> 
> I literally cannot believe I'm doing this, but here's a naruto oc story. God knows there's already a million of them. 
> 
> I'll only say it once! Naruto does not belong to me, nor does it plot or characters.
> 
> I do own my oc's and such though. If I get past the fifth chapter, then I'd appreciate it if nobody ran off and made their own story with them, thank you. 
> 
> Here's hoping this story lasts, though, I have another long one I should be writing. Ugh.

Chapter 1. Birth.

\--------

Another long wail broke the concentrated silence between all four men and women, as the fifth member of their group sucked in breath, and ground her teeth to keep from moaning again. 

"It's okay, sango, another few feet, we're almost there." Soothed a young man, adjusting his grip underneath her. "You're doing good, take another deep breath." His hands were shaking, but he tried to give him a reassuring smile nonetheless. 

"We shouldn't have moved her." Grunted another man. His hair was grey, but his hold on the sheet underneath his daughter did not waver. "This shouldn't be happening yet, its too soon-" 

"-it's two months too early, I know, alright!" Ground out the pregnant woman named sango. "It's not going to make it." She choked, leaning into the neck of her husband as he and her father carried them towards an old log building. 

"Don't say that." Spoke another woman, holding a torch and stopping a few feet ahead of them. Her pale cream hair reflected the crescent moon above them all, and her rose eyes shone with determination. "It'll make it, I can feel it." 

"But-" sango hiccuped. "I haven't felt anything kick this time- not like-" she moaned, another contraction swept over her, and she locked her joints together to try and battle the pain. Her husband paled under the headlock she had him in, but said nothing. 

Their journey was slow-going, since they could only move between contractions. They were getting closer and closer together as well, which was worrisome. 

"It'll make it." Her sister said again, after the contraction ended. "We just need to have faith." She opened the door of the cabin, handing the torch to her own husband, who had been carrying Sango's legs before they pulled her through the doorframe. 

Inside, the air was thick and misty with smelling salts and spices. A bed had been prepared in the middle of the room, as an old woman quickly gestured towards the oncoming party. This was not the first time they had come. 

"Lay her down gently- yes like that." She propped a pillow up underneath her granddaughter "How far apart are her contractions, Kagutsuchi-san?" She asked, not sparing the young man a glance as she wrung out a fresh towel and gently patted Sango's forehead. 

"Close, nearly-" another wail interrupted him, and his head snapped down to his wife. 

"It's coming quicker than expected." Stated the old woman. She drew her gaze away from her daughter. "All the men- out! Give us some space!" 

"But-!" Kagutsuchi said as a firm hand fell onto his shoulder. He looked into the eyes of sango's father, before tearing away again. "No- I left the last two times, please." He urged, kneeling down. "Let me just hold her hand." He said, his voice breaking. 

Grandmother Hinode thinned her lips, but said nothing as she let her own husband leave the room with her other son in law. It was a bad omen, allowing a man to stay, but she couldn't deny her daughter the comfort. Not this time, after two failed pregnancies. 

Her other daughter grasped sango's other hand, walking her through her breathing exercises. What a good girl- it was hard to believe suiren had only just given birth herself- a little boy, with the same rose coloured eyes as his mother. Hinode briefly wondered if this child would be a male, before she broke herself away from her thoughts and focused. She couldn't let herself get too attached. 

"Sheet-" she snapped, getting their attention. She sent her son in law a level stare. "I'm letting you stay, but sango will have her privacy, understood?" 

He didn't say anything as Hinode drew a long piece of fabric over her daughter's pale legs. Goosebumps ran up the young woman's skin as another contraction hit, and Hinode had to use all of her strength to keep her legs from locking together. 

"Sango, you have to keep still." She urged. "It isn't good for-" 

"It's two months early, mom." Her daughter said through her teeth. "Two months." 

"It's okay, it's going to be fine." Soothed her sister, petting her hair gently. "Keep breathing, alright? You have to stay calm." 

"Sango?" Her husband whispered, gently kissing her knuckles. She looked up to him with watery eyes. "You can do this, I know you can." 

She bit her lip, looking away. "I don't know if-" 

"Hey-" he turned her head, so she was looking at him again. "You're strong, you can do this. I'll be right here with you all the way. We can do this together." 

As the next contraction hit, she squeezed his hand until something crunched, but he kissed her fingers nonetheless. 

As Hinode worked far into the night, she continued to sneak glances up at the young couple. Her daughters terrified face had been replaced with a determined one, as thick beads of sweat rolled down her face and matted her hair, her husband patted her forehead with fresh towels. She was glad he was there, she found. He was young and new to the clan, and her husband disapproved of him because of his background, but he cared about his wife, and he cared about having a child with her. That was enough for Hinode. 

hours passed, and hinode had all but blocked out the world and the moans of her daughter. 

"I can see the head." She spoke, and suddenly all eyes were on her. 

Suiren edged closer to her, still holding onto her sister's hand. "How much more-?" 

"Not long." Hinode answered. "The umbilical cord doesn't seem to be anywhere it shouldn't." Not around its neck, at least. That was good. 

She wiped her own forehead, as several more contraction passed. She couldn't tell what time it was, but the candles she had lit before her daughter had been rushed in had nearly melted, Wax was already dripping onto the floor.

Drip, drip, drip. 

Her hands had begun to shake, as another contraction ended. 

"Nearly there-" she said, leaning forward to ease the child's fall. Her fingers met cold wet skin, and she bit her lip. 

Drip, drip, drip. 

"It's done." She breathed, quickly pulling the child away and snipping the umbilical cord. suiren could handle the rest. 

The child lay limp and cold in her arms as she checked its pulse and breathing. It's eyes remained motionless underneath it's heavy eyelids, and Hinode held her breath as she tried to clear its airway. 

Drip, drip, drip. 

She dipped it's head forward, and tucked it under her arm, as her other hand shot out to smack it's back. Again and again. It's cold skin grew red as her fingers left identical marks on its behind. Hinode continued to hold her breath. Behind her, she could hear her daughter's nervous voice bubble up, but she kept her back to them. She smacked it's bottom again. 

The time baby gurgled and coughed as a thick layer of mucus dripped out of its mouth. Hinode brought the child up just as it began to wail. 

She blinked back tears of her own as she turned to her daughter, already swaddling the infant in her shawl. 

"It's a girl." She breathed, finally tearing her eyes away from the child. 

When she did, her blood ran cold. 

Drip, drip, drip. 

"A girl..." Painted sango, loosely holding onto her husband's hand. "A little girl" she mustered up enough energy to smile, but soon found that fading as well. 

Sango could feel the blood on her legs, she could feel her head loll to the side as she blinked back her fatigue. Still, the thought raced in her head. A girl. A little girl. She shuddered as something rolled in her gut again, but couldn't find the energy to tear her eyes away from the little crying bundle in her mother's arms. Her finger twitched. She wanted to hold her baby. She wanted to be a mother finally. 

"Let me....hold her..." She breathed. She could feel her sister let go of her hand, but kept a tight grip on her husband. Or at least, she thought it was a tight grip. She wasn't sure, she couldn't quite feel her fingers. 

Sango smiled as she looked down at the little bundle that had been placed in the crook of her arm. So small, she thought. Little fingers reached out and gripped onto her shirt as she watched her daughter. The baby wailed as she held on for dear life, and sango focused on her teeny tiny fingernails. Smaller than a pea- but still long. She wondered how her daughter had grown fingernails already, two months before her due date. 

"She's strong." Her sister said, giving her a steely gaze. "She's crying harder than when shinju was born." 

Sango wheezed. It was meant to be a laugh. "I hope they'll get along." She pictured two little tots running around their house. Would her daughter be anything like her? Or would she take after her father? Something caught in her throat. "There's something wrong with me, i cant… i feele cold all over.” 

The hand holding hers tightened, and she blinked up into her husband's eyes. He was crying, she noticed. He hadn't cried the last two pregnancies, she remembered. Or at least, he didn't have long tear tracks falling down his face last time. She let go of his hand to try and wipe them away, but it fell before her fingers met his chin. He caught her arm and pulled her hand to the side of his face, and she threaded her fingers through his dark hair. He choked and closed his eyes. he was scared for her, she could tell. scared and helpless. she felt the same. 

Sango could dimly feel the hum of her mother's healing chakra as she placed her hands over her daughter's stomach. Sango blinked sleepily at her mother. 

"You aren't going to die." Her mother ground out as a stronger wave of healing chakra swept over her. "You can't." Hinode's arms shook as she poured her energy into healing her daughter. He nose began to bleed. 

 

"Move over." Sango's sister grunted. "two is better than one, even if i’m not as good." blue healing chakra light up her hands. She looked over to her startled sister, and then her helpless husband. "Hold onto your kid- this might take a while." 

Kagutsuchi complied and gingerly pried the baby from his wife's hands. He watched as colour began to come back to his wife's face, and they held eye contact until the tiny bundle began to to whimper again. He flinched. 

"I don't know how to- um." He looked at all three women helplessly. 

"Rock her, gently." Sighed Suiren. 

He did. He pulled the baby closer and wiped at his eyes. His daughter caught his sleeve and gripped onto the fabric with a tight grip. 

"Have you thought of a name?" Spoke suiren once again. 

kagutsuchi looked to his wife. She was the one calling the shots. 

Sango big her lip, and propped herself up on her arms as both woman tried to keep her down. "I was afraid of coming up with a name but...." She caught her husband's eye, and he could see how giddy she was already getting. "...what about Mako?" 

"Mako?" Questioned her grandmother. 

"what?" defended sango. When they all looked at her, she pouted. "I think it's cute." She looked back at her husband. "What do you think..?" 

He snuggled the baby closer. "Its adorable." 

As the night went on and the other men were allowed back in the room, baby kiran was passed from her father's arms, to her grandfathers, to her uncle's then back to her mother, as grandmother and her aunt ran out of chakra and declared sango's life no longer in danger. 

Everyone stared however, when sango quietly spoke, fussing with the blankets covering her waist. "I can't move my legs." she looked up at them all. “i don't think you fixed it.” 

\----

The young parents had decided to bunk in grandmother Hinode's cabin until her daughter's health improved. Her hands still shook from her heavy chakra use from before and she had to keep tight to the wooden banister as she walked along the porch. Her steps were heavy, sluggish and loud. She didn't bother masking them, she was safe enough and just too tired to care about anybody hearing her. At least the cool night air helped- as far as Hinode could tell, she had a few more hours until sunrise. Plenty of enough time to meditate and try to figure out how to fix her daughter's leg issue. 

It was most definitely tied to Sango cheating death- which also very much made it Hinode's fault in the first place.

"Damn it-" she pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to will her headache away. But of course, like everything else that night, things just didn't go her way. 

The voice of her husband cut through the otherwise silent night. "Why did you do that?" He breathed heavily through his nose, barely concealing his discontent.

"Save our daughter?" Hinode asked, watching as he stood motionless under the moonlight. 

He drew his robes tight across his chest, hand clutching his pipe. "Save the child." He narrowed his eyes- an unnatural pink to her seawater blue. 

Hinode pursed her lips. "They couldn't go through it again." She balled her hands into fists- the spaces in between her fingers cracking slightly. She was getting old.

"And leave them with what?" Her husband growled. "A weak and talentless child?"

She swallowed, a bitter taste left in her mouth from his words. "I had other things to consider in the moment-" she spat. "-they couldn't go through losing another child, Ryōshi, it would have broken them." 

He looked down at her. "You already said that." He raised his pipe to his lips, taking several small puffs on it, blowing the smoke out of his nose. "Regardless of your bias on the matter, they would have persevered." 

"You don't know that." Hinode argued, drawing herself up off the porch to look at him in the eye. "You barely even speak to her anymore, our daughter-" 

"-Is paralyzed from the waist down because you chose to spend your energy on the infant." He growled, taking a step closer to her. Smoke billowed out of his mouth and nose, giving him a darker and more intimidating expression in the dark of the night. "That child will not bring honour to our clan." 

Hinode remained unfazed. "Honour hardly means anything these days." She curled her lip at him. "Mako will grow up a healthy and normal child. That is how it will be, the clan will have no hold on her." 

"The clan is everything-" he snarled, snatching the collar of her shirt and dragging her so close to his face she had no choice but to stare deeply into his bright pink eyes. "You forget where you stand, wife. That child is a disappointment to what our clan has lived and died for-!" 

Hinode bared her teeth at him, ripping herself away from him. "The clan is already dead. Better to let Sango stay paralyzed than grieving the death of another child." 

Ryōshi watched her carefully. "If you didn't wear the face of my wife, I would swear you were another person." 

"Nothing has changed." Hinode growled at him. "You just haven't been paying attention to the people around you." 

Ryōshi watched his wife turn and stride inside once again, taking another puff on his pipe. She was a fool then, he decided. he didn't need to watch his family constantly to know what was best for them. it was his way- the way of the clan, which was best. Hinode was blind to see that now, and he regretted not understanding that sooner.

He walked quietly back to his bedchambers under the pale moonlight, mulling over his disappointments of that evening. 

As the younger daughter, sango had always been rather… troublesome. With her choice of husband, and now her daughter…. Ryōshi entertained the idea of disowning her for a few minutes. It would have been the easiest option, but as loathe he was to admit it, he did not want to face the wrath of his wife. battle-hardened medic she was, her ‘anger’ that she had shown tonight was… tired, exhausted anger. disowning her daughter would have been the last straw. no, he couldn't do that. even if sango couldn't bear children anymore, she was still of some importance, surely. 

Ryōshi spent the rest of the night trying to convince himself that. he was less than successful.


	2. Childhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of short instances for mako to sort of grow up in, and also introduce the other characters around her. baby mako must get better socks.

\----

Chapter 2. Childhood. 

\----

Little feet padded across the smooth wood floor of the veranda as baby Mako held tightly onto her auntie's fingertips, her pudgy baby legs still not strong enough to hold their own weight. 

Mako frowned as her bottom fell onto the floor once again, and she balled her hands into fists. Her aunt gave an airy laugh as she watched, apparently, a baby pouting was hilarious. Even if mako didn't have total control over her face yet. 

When mako started watching her parents and listening to them, she started picking up words. Not important words, obviously. Mako was a child and language wasn't the biggest barrier separating her from other people, but it was important to her. She would sit and listen to her parents- whom she had recognized completely by now- talk to each other and her, as they went through their little routine day by day. 

She didn't know their names yet, so she was forced to stick to mum and dad. Mom had creamy white hair and soft pale skin, with warm Intelligent eyes the colour of cotton candy. mako hoped she inherited her smile, because the way mom grinned at dad made Mako's heart jump. Dad though, was really cool. He had black-brown hair that went down past his shoulders and dark tan skin. The coolest part about him though, was that sometimes, when mako paid attention hard enough, or got the opportunity to pull at his mouth (which was often, because dad was her favourite perch) she found he had pointy shark teeth! How cool was that? He didn't even seem to care either! He was so cool. Mako wondered if if he ever lost a tooth, another one would take its place. Like a real shark. Man! That would be so cool! 

Mako loved her new parents. She loved them a lot. So, she tried her best to be well behaved. She went to sleep when they wanted her to sometimes, she didn't cry when they wanted to talk for the most part, and she even kept herself from putting food in her dads hair once- the fifth time was enough.

 

"Say dada-" ichigo prompted, kissing Mako’s forehead. 

"No say mama-" her mother pouted, pulling her daughter away. 

"No say-" 

"Enough!" Called grandmother Hinode, scowling at both parents. "You're both adults, please." She stressed. "That child has you wrapped around her little finger." 

"Oh, she so does." Mused aunt Suiren, tugging her own little tot along. "I just wonder how we're going to pry her away for a play-date, Shinju has been waiting months to meet his baby cousin." She smiled. 

"Come back in another month." Ichigo Kagutsuchi pouted, hugging his daughter closer. "Or at least until Mako says my name." 

"-or mine, Ichigo." Hushed his wife. "We're not ready to leave her yet." 

Mako looked up at them both. "Ichi?" She repeated. Her clumsy baby tongue making a mockery of the word. 

Her dad looked like he was about to cry though. "She said it! She said my name!" He announced proudly, and suddenly Mako was up in the air, held above his head like a little prize. 

"I wouldn't count it." Sango said, crossing her arms. "It sounded more like 'itchy,' if you ask me." She pouted. 

He kissed her forehead, grinning. "I'm still counting it!" He cried, finally bringing his daughter back down. Mako's head was spinning. the world had suddenly gotten Very Small and then Very Large again. 

"Soooo... Does that mean Mako can go on her play date now?" Aunt suiren asked, hopeful. Her son tilted his head and watched Mako with childish interest.

"Bah?" Mako asked, wondering if there was some sort of universal baby talk. 

He shook his head. "No." He looked up at her aunt. "Mum? " 

She crawled out of her parents grip, and onto the floor. Dad made an indignant squawk, but let her go. She pulled herself up with her pudgy little arms and blinked up at him. "Bah?" She said again. 

He shook his head. "Mum" he pointed to his aunt. 

"Muh?" Mako looked up at her, then back at her cousin. 

Her aunt knelt down so she was eye level and pointed to Mako's own parents. "Mum." 

"Muhm." Mako repeated, looking at them both. They waved back giddily. Cute. "Dah?" Her dad looked like he was holding back tears. Her mom elbowed him in the gut, but kept smiling. 

Oh, this was going to be fun. 

\-----

As weeks and months went by, and Mako and Shinju's play dates continued, they often found themselves playing a craftily devised game of 'point at things, and name them.' Devised by Mako herself. It was a fun learning game for her, they would sit on the porch and talk about trees and clouds, Mako would bring out her picture books and her cousin would read certain words to her that she didn't recognize- she was just beginning learn her ABC’s so it was like doing extra credit. 

Mako actually really loved her books and reading- her mum would sit and read to her in front of the fire every night, and Mako would get carried to her bed by her dad when she fell asleep. Mako especially loved it when her mum read books about the ocean and told her neat facts about the sea animals that lived down there. she just couldn't wrap her head around the idea that fish could actually breathe in the water. her dad had explained that they had different lungs than people did, ‘gills’ he called them, but that didn't stop her from trying to breathe underwater when she had a bath one time. her findings were… less than substantial. 

Shinju was half a year older than her- three to her two and a half. He very quickly became her one and only best friend. They were always playing together, since he lived right next door, and seemed to be the only other child in sight. Talking with her parents was fun and they were her friends too, but it was just so much more interesting to talk to someone who actually understood what she wanted to say. Kids had a secret language together, something adults just didn't understand. Shinju was an excellent conversation partner, and the best part was, he never got bored with what she wanted to say. It made her feel important. She could tell him made-up stories about the sea and he would listen for hours. 

Shinju was a cute little guy, with pale white hair like Mako's mum and aunt, and bright pink eyes. Mako thought the colour was strange, Compared to her own dark hair and eyes, but didnt feel the need to dwell on it. If she thought pink eyes were weird, then she would have to think her dads shark teeth were too. And she just couldn't do that. They were, by all counts, coolest thing ever. Mako did wonder why she didn't have neat pink eyes like him or her mom, but brown was okay. She was her parents child; it didnt matter if she had brown hair, tan skin and dark eyes- she had her mother's blood in her, and that was enough.

She wished she had shark teeth though, she thought as she sped to catch up to her cousin. He was fast, the little rug rat. And he quickly turned a corner before he ran straight into their grandpas legs. 

"Heyy-You alright?" the old man shooshed as shinju's eyes began to well up. "You need to watch where you're going, next time" He tousled his hair in an affectionate manner. 

Shinju turned slightly pink, and hiccuped a "okay, gran’pa." 

"Be more careful next time, okay??" He turned to Mako, and the smile dropped from his face. "Watch out for your cousin next time." he frowned. “if he gets hurt, it's your responsibility.” 

"Yes, Grandpa." She said, turning down her gaze and sticking out her bottom lip. adults loved that. Like hell she’d get in trouble now.

"Good." He said, carefully. "You two run along, now." he said, motioning for them to get moving.

Shinju got right back up and Mako held out her hand, dragging him along. 

She waited until their grandfather was out of earshot. "He likes you more." She grumbled, rounding a corner. 

"Huh?" Shinju asked, he hadn't been paying attention. Little guy always had his head in the clouds.

"Never mind." She sighed, pulling him down the hall. Her feet made slapping noises on the polished boards. Shinju nearly glided along in his socks. She would have to stop losing hers if she ever wanted to be that quiet. 

"He’s is so cool, right Mako?" He gushed. She stopped and stared at him. "Whaat?" He asked, turning pink.

"He's too old for you." Mako rolled her eyes and kept moving. "And he smells funny." 

"Whaaaat?" Shinju asked, as she basically dragged him along. He paused. "What does he smell like?" 

"Like old people." She explained. "Powdery and weird. Like the mushrooms behind my window." 

"You have mushrooms behind your window?" He asked, suddenly extremely interested. "Show me?" 

"Okay, yeah." She nodded, reaching up to open the door at the end of the hall. They padded around the porch and dove onto the grass, running through it in bare and stocking feet. "Shin-!" Mako called, already bounding up the stairs and opening the back door to her home. "This way!" 

He held onto her hand as she guided him through the back hallways of her house. They didn't often play at her place- Shin was a hermit by nature and always wanted to play in his room with his toys. Mako didn't mind. She knew every corner of hers already, and his house was an adventure. Problem was, she always left her books at his house. She hoped he was enjoying her copy of ‘my little Mizukage.’ She liked the clam in it, it had googly eyes. 

They cut through the kitchen and Mako sneakily stole some cheese slices and passed them back to her cousin. 

"Eating so soon?" Her mother called from her chair, surprising them both. "It's almost lunch." 

"Shin gets whiny when he's hungry." Mako said very seriously, still holding his hand. 

"I do not!" He whined, before taking a bite of cheese. 

Mako shrugged "I'm going to show him my room." She told her mum. 

"Oh, well don't let me stop you." She said with a smile, picking up her book again, Mako couldn't read the letters on the front. "Have fun, cutie pies." 

Shinju turned pink and followed Mako's hand as they made their way down another hallway. He tugged on her arm before peeling off his dirty socks. 

"Better?" Mako asked, waiting for him. 

He nodded and she grabbed his hand again. 

"Your mom..." He paused, thinking deeply. "She always sits in that chair." 

Mako blinked. "That's because she can't walk." She stated. 

"What??" He said, shocked. "Then how does she get there?" 

She gave him a little smile. "Dad carries her." 

"oh!" He exclaimed, as if it all made sense now. "Your dad must be strong!" 

"Uh-huh! And cool!" She agreed, pulling him along. 

"Cool like gran’pa?" He asked. 

"Cooler!" She exclaimed. "Dad has shark teeth!" 

"No way!" He said, in awe. "What's a shark?"

“Like a Lion with fins.” she said. 

“what's a lion?”

They made it to her room and she slid open the door, walking inside. She tugged on her cousin's hand, but he didn't budge. 

"What?" She asked. 

He turned a light pink, the same colour as his eyes. "I've never been in a girl's room before." He said, embarrassed. 

She blinked at him again. "I'm not a girl, I'm your cousin." 

"Oh," He said, thinking it over. He shrugged, stepping inside. “That makes sense, yeah.” 

Mako's room was right next to her parents room- small, with a nice fuzzy carpet covering most of the floor. She had a lot of soft blankets strewn about, and her pillow was on the other side of the room, since she was a rather restless sleeper. Lots of bookshelves lay empty- books covering most of the floor. Mako pointed to a small glass window above her bed looking out to the front, with a little flower box. She opened the window and ushered Shinju closer, pointing a pudgy finger at some neat little mushroom tops. 

"That is so cool." He breathed, reaching out to touch them. She pulled him back, shaking her head. 

"If you touch them, they won't get bigger." She warned, "I'm growing them- They're gonna get bigger than the house someday." 

"Really?" He cried, getting another look at the tiny shrooms. "I want some!" 

"I'll get you some seeds, it you gotta keep it a secret, okay?" She whispered. "Mom doesn't like them." 

He nodded feverently, excited to grow his own mushroom seedlings someday. Outside, some noise drew their attention. Shouting, people running past their house. 

"What's happening?" Shin asked. 

"Let's go see." Mako said, grabbing his hand and leading him down the hallway. Their feet slapped against the old cherry boards as they ran towards the main room. 

"Mum?" Mako asked, as her mother watched the windows from her chair. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing, nothing-" her mom assured the two of them. When Mako wasn't convinced, she explained further. "Dads back." 

"My dad too?" Shin asked hopefully. 

Sango looked at the boy "I dont-" 

Mako's dad burst through the door, wearing heavy leather armour and a bandaged sword on his back. "Sango where are the- oh good, they're here." he said, quickly kissing Mako and shinju on the forehead. "We need to get going, this place isn't safe anymore." 

"what?" Her mom exclaimed, straightening up in her chair. "Again? do you know how close they are?" 

Mako's dad grimaced. "Too close. Takumi and some of the others are keeping them busy." 

"My dad??" Asked shinju, letting go of Mako’s hand to grab onto her dads pant-leg. 

"He's strong." Ichigo kagutsuchi said, giving the little kid some hope to hold onto. "He's gunna buy us some time so we can get away." 

"Are we running?" Questioned Mako. "Are we gunna come back?" 

"I don’t know, kiddo." Her dad said, already packing up things into a duffle bag. "But we need to get moving."

\------

After several days of trekking through the woods and mountains, running away felt a lot more like hiking away. 

Not that Mako had to do any hiking of course, she was just a little kid. She wasn't expected to do much of anything, except keep quiet and sit with mum in the cart. And she could do that. Being a little kid had its perks- especially when you had the best storyteller ever, and all of your books packed up right next to you. 

It was pretty smooth riding, except for the fact that she was also in charge of another little kid. 

"When is dad getting back- I want daaaad-" her cousin whined, kicking his feet against the wall of the cart. Her mother had to lean over to catch a box that got jostled loose, and she placed it at the bottom of her feet. 

"It's on your toes, mum" Mako muttered drearily. Her mother moved them away, thanking her daughter. 

It had been nearly a week, and Shin hadn't stopped asking for his dad. Mako wasn't supposed to say anything- by the way her dad acted before they packed up their things and left, he seemed like some sort of soldier, and with that massive sword... Mako didn't know her uncle very well, but if he was staying behind to 'buy time' she didn't think he was going to make it back. From what she overheard from the other people travelling, things didn't looks good. 

The books she had covered this sort of stuff. Bugs died, and so did the fish they ate- it was just very very hard to wrap her head around the idea that people did too- she had asked her mum one day travelling, when Shin had fallen asleep, and she had really tried to avoid the topic, other than ‘yes’ people can die, and ‘no’ you can't tell your cousin. Actually, it was best if she just didn't talk about that sort of stuff at all while they were travelling, her mother told her. 

 

So she kept her mouth shut. 

"I want daaaad, where is heeeee." Shin whined, kicking his feet in the air.

With every hour, Mako wished beyond belief that somebody said something. Anything, the guilt was eating her alive-

The cart stopped suddenly, and her cousin fell forward. 

‘Or, that could happen.’ She thought, smugly. 

"We're just stopping for a break." Shin's mom explained, sliding into the cart, and helping her son back into his seat. "It's rocky ahead, so it's going to be rather slow going." 

Mako pouted. "How long till we get there?" Her patience was wearing thin. 

"Not long, jellybean." Her mum sighed, kissing her forehead. Mako liked the nickname, it was cute. "Just a little while longer." 

There were actually a lot of people traveling along with them. Mako couldn't quite count them all, but together, they could almost fit in all six carts. Not everyone was related to one another, Mako could tell, but most of the people going along with them had a similar shade of cream hair or pink eyes. She heard her grandpa call them a clan a few times. For a family, they were pretty big, but they didn't seem to have any other children Mako's age, that was for sure. She would have killed for another kid to play with, even if Shin was more than enough company. 

At the head of the group, she could almost make out the shape of her dad. She barely saw him in the past few weeks, since he was guarding them all, but she still missed him. 

Mako flopped back into her heat, pouting. She missed her dad. "Mum, can you read to me again?" Mako asked a few minutes later, tugging on her sleeve. 

"Sure- which one kiddo?" She asked, putting down her book. Mako still couldn't read the cover. 

“Do you have the one with the clam?” she asked hopefully. “Or the one about the yellow guy?”

“You read her konoha stories?” Aunt suiren asked, tearing her attention away from the road. “you sure you should be doing that Sango?”

Her mother shrugged, pulling out ‘The Legend Of the Yellow Flash’ and handing it to Mako. “She only ever wants to read about the Kages- and it's not like we’re overflowing with role models, sister.”

Suiren grunted. “ i know, but still- Konoha propaganda?? she’ll be asking about the will of fire soon enough, dad’ll disown her.”

Mako held her book in her arms, looking up at the both of them. “What’s konoha?”

Her mum sighed, looking at her sister as if to say ‘thanks’. “It’s a village in the land of fire, Jellybean.”

Interesting- mako wanted to learn more. “what’s it like? have you ever been there?” 

“I have-” aunt suiren said. “Everyone in that country walks around boasting about their ‘will of fire’ and it never snows there.” her aunt made a disgusted noise.

“Never??” shin asked, sitting up in his seat. “Where does the snow go??”

“Here, probably.” Mum muttered. 

“Do you not like them, aunt suiren?” mako asked after a moment of staring at her book. “should i not either?”   
“I- well…” Her aunt looked rather uncomfortable. “They're okay, i guess.”

“have they done bad stuff?” Shin asked, curious as well.

“They stick their noses in a lot of other peoples buisness.” his mom grumbled. “Its best if you take their stories with a grain of salt, kiddo.” 

“hm.” mako said, opening her ‘yellow flash’ book. “so he wasn't really that fast?” she asked, holding the book up. The cover had a pretty illustration of a blonde man in a cape.

“Maybe-” Suiren said, taking the book from her. She flipped through a couple pages with a critical eye. “-They certainly like to mention his flying thunder god a lot, huh.”

“They do?” Mako asked, taking the book form her. The tiny print was blurry and illegible to her- she screwed up her face, trying to make sense of the letters. “I can't tell what it says.”

“oh?” Suiren asked, peering over her shoulder. She looked up at mako’s mother. “I thought she was learning her alphabet already.”

“She is,” Sango reassured ehr, also looking at Mako. “but hasent gotten reading down yet- do you think she needs glasses?”

"How many fingers am I holding up, kiddo?" Her aunt said, going right into 'nurse mode' and holding up four. 

"I can see those." Mako pouted. "I’m not blind." 

"How about these?" She said, pulling up her own book and placing them in makos lap. “what’s this letter?”

“uuuugh…” mako pulled the book closer, screwing up her face in concentration. “Is it the letter J?”

“She might need glasses.” suiren muttered, taking the book back. “I could ask around for a spare- maybe let her try on mom’s…”

Half an hour later, aunt Suiren returned with a pair of little pink glasses. They were big and round and rather nerdy looking. Mako tried them on, and suddenly she could see leaves and faces so much better than better than before- jeez, what had she been missing all her life?

"She look, er..." Her aunt said, watching as Mako hopped around the cart, trying to get a good look at everything.   
“Adorable.” Sango said, trying to keep her laughter as quiet as possible. 

"These are so cool!!" Mako squealed, jumping up and down. "I can see dad better now! Hi dad!!!" She leaned out of the cart, waving as hard as she could until her noticed and waved back. 

 

\------

"Mum, when is dad coming back?" Asked shin, sitting rather dejectedly. "We aren't leaving him behind, are we?" 

Her aunt picked him and and cuddled him to her chest. "He'll... catch up with us, he’s gunna be fine." She soothed, smoothing down his pale hair. Mako caught the look shared between her aunt and her mother. Grim. 

"We can't leave him behind- we gotta go back for him!" Shin cried, rubbing at his eyes. His mom held onto him tighter, possessively. Like she was afraid of losing him too. 

Mako adjusted her big pink glasses on her face. "If he's strong like my dad, he'll be fine." She assured him, patting his leg. "I bet he's just playing cards with the other guys he left with." 

"Cards?" Shin asked. "Do dads play cards a lot?" 

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "It's how they show up the other dads. And build decks." 

"Do you think we'll have a deck at our new place?" He asked, looking up at his mom. 

"We'll have to see when we get there, shin." She said, watching them both. 

Mako puffed up her chest. "Well, if we don't, I'll get my dad to build you one. He's good at that, right mom?" 

Sango smiled and kissed Mako's forehead. "Mhmm. He's the best." 

"I told you!" Mako exclaimed, pointing a finger at Shin. "Dad is so cool!" She gushed.

\-----

The caravan stopped several more times as they made their way up and then down the rocky pass- twice everyone had to get out and walk, and while Mako was fine walking behind the cart with the adults, she watched carefully as her mother was carried by people she didn't know. Even if they were from the same 'clan', she didn't trust them. Who knows, one of them could run away and marry her mom if she wasn't watching them. She was really pretty after all. The prettiest. And she wasn't about to make room in her heart for another dad. One shark-dad was enough. 

"Mum?" Mako asked, as they all piled in the cart once again. "Why doesn't dad carry you?" 

She blinked, arranging her skirt around her. "Well, dad is busy protecting us." She explained.

"Can't he protect us and carry you?" Mako whined, adjusting her pink glasses. 

Sango shook her head. "He needs his hands free so he can use that sword of his." 

"Oh?" She leaned out of the cart, trying to get a good look at him and the sword on his back with her new glasses. "The one with the bandages?" 

Mum nodded. "That's the one." She smiled. "It's called the Hiramekarei, and it's really big and heavy." 

"hirame-karei?" She tilted her head, saying the word slowly. "Aren't those fish?" 

"Such a clever girl I have." Her mom glowed, ruffling Mako's hair. "Yes, the sword is named after two types of flounder, which are flat fish." 

"Dad uses a fish-fish?" Mako pondered. "Do you think I could use the fish-fish some day?" 

"If you grow strong enough." Her mum smiled. "I'm sure you'll be able to do all sorts of amazing things." 

\------

Another week went by as the caravan travelled through whatever rocky terrain they had to cross, through dense forest, until the group eventually arrived on the sandy shores of a beach. It would've been great to play around in the sand, like her cousin immediately started doing, but it was stormy and dreary by then, and Mako had lost all motivation to do anything. 

"Siiiiiigh." She said, lying on her back like a starfish on a pile of luggage. 

It was so boring travelling. She wasn't allowed to run around, she wasn't allowed to go see dad, even if they stopped for a while, they would have to pack right up and start moving again, so there really wasn't a reason to get out in the first place. Travel, travel, travel. Ugh, she was getting sick of travelling. 

"sIIIIIIIIIIGHHH." She said louder, putting an arm dramatically over her face. She peeked to see if anyone was paying her melodrama attention. 

Her cousin gave her a funny look from the beach a little ways off, but went back to making his little sand pile. "Girls are weird." He muttered. 

"I'm not a girl- I'm your cousin." She muttered, going back to her starfish pose.

She liked feminine things well enough, but it didn't quite click for her. Boy stuff didn't click either. she didn't have any words to describe her feelings, She was still a child after all, and children didn't usually have opinions on gender until they were older, but it bugged her when her cousin made little quips like that. 

"Muuuum?" She called, sitting up on her little luggage pile. "how girly do i look with these glasses?" 

Her mum and aunt looked up from their conversation, before looking at each other. Aunt Suiren had her blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail, and her cotton-candy eyes, like Mako's mother’s, looked at her in confusion. “what do you mean?” she asked. 

MAko took off her pink glasses, turning them over n her hands. “I dunno, i don't want to look like a girly girl.”

“There's nothing wrong with that.” her mother said, frowning. “Do you not like the colour of your glasses?” she asked eventually. 

 

Mako shrugged, avoiding eye contact with both women. “Pink is a girly colour…” 

“I dunno, i like pink.” her aunt said proudly. “and I’m one of the toughest in the clan.” 

“You are?” mako asked, starstruck. 

“Pink, in our clan, is very important to us.” Her aunt explained, as Mako looked up at her. “Its the colour of our eyes, and it's also the colour on our clan symbol.”

“I don't have pink eyes though…” mako said dejectedly. “And i don't look like either of you.”

“That doesn't mean you aren't a part of the clan, jellybean.” her mother said, trying to reassure her. “You're just as special as any of us.” 

“I guess so..” Mako said, shuffling her feet. She put her glasses back on, missing the feeling of the lenses on her face. She pursed her lips for a moment, thinking. “Can i have a mirror?” she asked eventually.

Her aunt fished a little silver handheld one from her bag. “hows that?” she asked, as mako hels it up to inspect her face.

The kid in the little hand-mirror had dark hair that fell to her shoulders in little strings- like she had expected it to. Their eyes were a nice colour of brown, like her mother had described once, brighter than her dads, like a cherry brown. Her skin was a tan- not white, but then, also not dark brown like her father’s. And- 

 

Oh man.

She drew the mirror closer, eyes widening as she played with her canine tooth- not razor sharp or completely straight, like a shark, but still-

"mOM I HAVE TEETH LIKE DAD!!" She cried, flinging herself at her poor mother. "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" 

Sango snickered and hugged her daughter closer. "I'll tell your dad when we see him," she said, smoothing down Mako's hair. It was rather knotted from all her running around. "Want me to brush your hair, jellybean?" Her mom asked. 

Mako nodded, making herself comfy on her mom's lap. She worried if she was too heavy for her mom's legs, but kept her mouth shut. If mom was uncomfy, she would tell her, right? 

Sango pulled a little hairbrush out of her knapsack, and hummed as she combed her daughter's hair. She parted the dark strands into two sections, before braiding each one, nice and tight. Mako's little hand wandered up to touch her hair, but sango make a tsk' noise, and told her to wait until she was finished. She went into her bag once more, and pulled out two little teal beads, working them into the remaining upbraided strands at the end, to keep them from unraveling. She looked back at her work and grinned. She had the cutest kid in the world. 

Mako ran her hands down her new twin braids. Her fingers found the pretty teal beards at the end, and she tried to get a better look at them without out ruining her new hairstyle. 

"Thank you moooom~" she sang, bounding off her mother's lap and off the cart. 

"Go play with Shin-" Sango called, cupping her mouth with her hands. "He needs a buddy to help with his castle." 

Mako nodded, and skipped over to her cousin, happily snapping out of her mood from before. She was cute and she had shark teeth. Of course she was happy. They were the coolest thing ever. Maybe she was special like her family after all. 

"Hey," Mako chirped, sitting down beside him. "How's your fort going?" 

Shin shrugged, and dumped another pile of sand in front of him. The result was... Rather pathetic. Mako scooped up a couple seashells and delicately placed them around what she pictured as walls. 

"How's that?" She asked, trying to lift his spirit. "Do you think it needs a moat?" 

Shin shrugged halfheartedly, and Mako pursed her lips, not saying anything. As she started digging a moat around the castle, her eyes kept flicking up to her cousin's dejected face, and back to her aunt. Suiren looked... uneasy, as she talked with mako’s mother. The two women talked quietly together as they sat and faced the ocean, but her aunt’s hands were white and gripped her seat as they talked. Adult stuff, for sure, but i was weird to see her aunt look… actually vulnerable for once.

Mako looked at her cousin again as he flopped backwards, looking up at at the cloudy sky. She sighed and crawled over to him. 

"You okay?" She asked, lying down beside him and resting her head on her hands. 

He shook his head. 

She frowned. "You wanna... Talk about it?" 

He shook his head again and closed his eyes. 

"Mum braided my hair for me." Mako said, filling the silence. "She put some really neat beads at the ends." 

He didn't say anything. 

"I'm sure if we ask, your mom can braid your hair too, maybe even get your own beads." 

Silence. 

She looked away from him, lying on her back too. "Maybe if the sun comes out, our moms will let us go swimming. Have you ever gone swimming before? Because I-" 

"-Dad isn't coming back, is he?" Her cousin whispered. 

Mako swallowed and looked at him, nothing had changed, he was still lying peacefully on the sand with his eyes closed, but she could see the tremor in his jaw as he fought away tears. Mako looked at her aunt, who was now resting against Sango's shoulder as her sister smoothed down her hair. Mother and daughter made eye contact. 

"No," Mako answered, after a long silence. "I don't think he's coming back." 

Shin curled up in a ball and covered his face with his hands. "What am I going to do?" He cried, his voice breaking. "What am I going to do without him?" 

Mako edged closer, bumping his forehead with hers. "You still have your mom." She said weakly. 

He peeled his hands away from his eyes, both cousins looking at each other. Shin's eyes were already red and swollen, as tears fell down the side of his face and onto the sand. "We should've gone back for him- we should've-" he hiccuped, turning away from her. "And now he's gone-" he sobbed. "He's gone forever and I'll never see him again." 

Mako sat up, and gently rubbed his back as the hiccuping continued. She didn't say anything. 

"He's gone- I'll never ever ever see him again- he's gone, he's gone-" he wailed, balling his fits up in the sand. "My dad- he's- he's- never ever ever-" he moaned, tears and sand and water mixing together as the clouds started spitting down rain on them. Like the moment couldn't get worse.

Shinju didn't even notice the rain as Mako pulled him up out of the sand and into a hug. She rubbed his back some more as he cried into his shoulder. Hugs were comforting right? so why was he still crying?

Shin hiccuped into her neck before pulling away. His eyes were just as swollen as before, and he rubbed at his face as he turned away from her. He drew himself into a little ball and looked out at the ocean as the rain continued to fall. Mako copied him. 

They sat like that for a while. Shin, still hiccuping and crying, but wanting to glare out at the ocean, and Mako not knowing what to do with herself. Should hug him again? or let him sort through his own grief? She looked down at the sand instead, and didn't say anything. There wasn't much she could say to him. 

She looked back at the carts as the sounds of people scurrying to cover their belongings floated over to them. Her mother gestured for them both to come back, but Mako shook her head and chose to sit with her cousin. She didn't think he would move for a while. Mako shrugged off her jacket and put half of it over Shinju's back, so they could both huddle under it as the rain kept pouring down. He barely reacted, but Mako saw his fingers loosely grip the other side to keep it from sliding off. His other hand went to wipe at his face once more. 

Thunder boomed, and both children jumped underneath their cover. They turned around at the sound of the noise-

–and before them stood a tall shadowed man, in a pinstripe shirt holding a long crude sword, as dark red liquid dripped down the side of his face and arms. 

Shin cried out and fell backwards, but Mako froze in her tracks. That was the most blood she had ever seen in her life. And it couldn't have been just his own blood. 

Deep jagged gouges traced up and down his arms, as he raised his sword slightly. He was breathing heavily- Mako could smell his breath- and feel it on her face- he was so close, he was too close!!

"Loyalist brat-!" The man ground out, bringing his sword down- so fast, she couldn't even see it-

–And then where he was standing, was nothing but air. 

She heard the screech of metal on metal another twenty feet away as she whipped her head sideways- 

And her dad was slamming his massive hiramekarei down with so much force- that the shadowed man with the crude sword went flying backwards- into the ocean- with a great splash of water and mist. 

Mako opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out as the shadowed man reappeared, walking on the water as if it were a flat surface- and stood his ground as her dad lunged at him again, with fire in his eyes. As the bandages loosened around his great fish blade, and bright blue energy shot out and sliced the air, the man, and the water behind him, before the fight was over and what remained sunk beneath the waves. All before her dad landed once again, standing just as the man once had, on the pale grey ocean. 

Mako's jaw dropped, and she sunk to her knees. 

She could hear her mother calling from the cart, and could almost feel the sand move around her as her cousin ran into aunt suiren's arms, but Mako continued to stare at the place where the man had once been. The same place where her father now stood. 

His back was to her as the bandages once again, coiled around the fish-sword, and he pulled it onto his back. He stared down at the water with a deep frown, his brow knitting together. At the sound of shinju's terrified cries, he turned to stare into the eyes of his own daughter. 

"What." Mako choked out. "Was that?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send me some input if you want more! Reviews makes a starving artist and writer very happy! 
> 
> Note: if you see anywhere my referring to Mako by the name Kiran, it's because i wrote like 8 chapters of this story with her having that name, and then changed my mind entirely. I am editing every single bit to make sure she goes by mako. it's killing me inside, but i gotta do it.


	3. Questions and answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everything suddenly gets interesting and tense as baby-mako's childhood has adventure and danger in it now!! yesss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on my vacation and I'm writing naruto fanfiction. 
> 
> I guess it's better than doing nothing, I suppose.

\----

Chapter 3. Questions and answers. 

\----

The next few moments went on in a blur. 

Her dad rushed forward, and in the blink of an eye, the air in front of her was filled with his warm smile, his concerned face, his soft hands that had held hers since before she could walk-

And he had just killed a man right in front of her, in the span of a second. 

She looked up at him with wide eyes. 

"What was that-" she said again, grabbing onto the tough leather of his shirt. Armor, to protect him. "Who was that-" 

He looked down at her with all the concern a parent would have if they had just killed someone in front of their two, nearly three year old. "You weren't supposed to see that." He whispered, Mako had to strain her ears to catch what he said. 

"I wasn't supposed to- dad-!" She choked out. "That man is– how did he–?" 

He knelt down and drew her into his arms in a single motion, hugging her close. He was warm to the touch, and she realized she hadn't been held by him like this since they started on their journey, weeks ago. 

"Shhhhh." He soothed, smoothing down her creamy hair and kissing her forehead. "It's okay now, he's gone, he won't be hurting you ever again." 

Mako hiccuped slightly and pulled away from him. "He- was he gonna hurt me?" She asked with wide eyes. "And you- dad-""

Her dad kissed her forehead once more. "He's gone- he can't hurt you." He brushed away the few tears that spilled over her cheeks, and she leant into his hand. Warm, like him. The pads of his thumbs were rough, but they carefully wiped away the water as each tear left little tracks down her face. She wrapped her arms around his middle, and he picked her up like she was weightless. 

"Are these new?" He asked, tugging gently at one of her braids. "I like the beads." 

Mako nodded. "Mum got them for me." 

"Well," her dad said, walking to the caravan once again. "Maybe mum can get me some too, so we can match.' 

Mako looked up at him as he placed her gently into the cart. "But we do match dad." She flashed him her pointy shark teeth. "Thee? Like yourths." 

He planted a little kiss on her forehead. "My little snaggle tooth-" he drew back and grinned, though it was slightly forced. "Dad has to go, okay? He'll be back." 

"Where's he going?" Mako asked, her smile dropping from her face. She didn't want him to go yet. 

"He's gotta make sure everyone else is safe." He answered, taking a step back. "You watch out for your mom and cousin, okay?" 

Mako nodded, pursing her lips. "Okay." 

He gave her a little wave before he vanished, in a twirl of wind and leaves. 

She watched as they fell to the ground, mystified. Was that magic? Was her dad some sort of shark wizard with a sword? How did he move so fast? Could he fly? 

"Mako!" Her mother called out, as her slender fingers grabbed the back of her shirt and dragged her out of her thoughts. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Sango cried, cupping her daughter's face with her hands. 

Mako blinked up into the terrified pink eyes of the woman who gave birth to her. "I'm okay, mum. he didn't touch me." She said quietly, suddenly wanting to shrink into herself. 

"Oh thank goodness-" Sango said, pulling her daughter to her chest. Mako was wet and cold, but the woman didn't care. Her daughter was okay.

Mako didn't feel okay.

She could still see the man's face when she closed her eyes, she could still smell his breath, Mako could still hear his shallow breathing and could still see the deep open wounds on his his arms and legs as he stood over her. 

He had called her a loyalist brat. Loyal to what though?

"Mom?" She asked quietly, after the carts had begin moving again and her jacket had been put back on her shoulders. "What are we?" 

Sango looked down at her daughter. "What do you mean?" 

"He called me a loyalist, before, on the beach." She said, looking back at the retreating view of the sand. "Am I?" 

Sango blinked, and planted a kiss on mako's forehead. "No, jellybean, of course you aren't." 

"Are you?" She asked, adjusting her big pink glasses. 

"No, I'm not." Her mom explained, tightening her grip on her daughter. "Your aunt, your grandparents and I, are just caught in the middle of a very big fight." 

Mako looked fearfully up at her mother. "But why are we running? Can't we just explain to them? Make them see we aren't the bad guys?" 

"Oh honey," Sango sighed, pulling Mako closer. "You're too young for this, I'm sorry." 

Kiran shook her head. "I'm almost three- I'm not young." 

Her mom gave her a weak smile. "Sorry- you're already three, your birthday was a few days ago." 

"Oh" she blinked. "Can we have my birthday later, then? When we get to our new home?" 

Sango planted another little kiss on the top of Mako's head. "Yes, of course we can."

\-----

 

It was safe to say mako wasnt allowed to have any more beach adventures after that. 

Mako watched from the side of the cart as the other people with no clingy parents were allowed to wander around. It had been three days since the incident on the beach, and the caravan had continued to stick close to the ocean, weaving around the odd rock or tree as they kept moving. 

Dad had drifted back and forth between watching the front of the group, and watching his family. Mako caught her parents exchanged silent looks with each other as they stayed on guard, and the three year old had kept quiet all the same, swinging her legs out from under her and counting as the hours went by. 

One close call- one very close call, was more than enough for her mother to keep her attention solely focused on Mako, and if she didn't have her hand around Mako's wrist, then aunt Suiren had her hands on her. It was a trade off. Cousin for cousin. At least Mako wasn't crying half the time. 

Shin had continued to glare out at the ocean as they traveled. His hiccuping cries had continued far into the night, and Mako was beginning to regret being honest with him. His dad really wasn't going to come back, and whatever Mako said wasn't going to change that now. She just hoped that her cousin would snap out of it soon. She missed talking to her best friend. 

Mom hadn't said much more as to why they were attacked and running away. She hadn't mentioned anything about what the man had wanted, or why he had to get hurt. She had flinched at her use of 'killed' when mako had said it, and she hadn't answered any questions about what her dad had done to be so fast. Mako could have thought it was all a dream if she didn't see the way everyone in the group was tensed, ready to spring into action. She hadn't seen her grandparents for a long time, but her mother assured her that they were at the front of the group, while they were at the back. 

They travelled a long time before they eventually stopped. Aunt Suiren started pulling out their luggage and handing it to the others as Mako watched up ahead. The path they had been taking had ended at a dock, and several small boats were waiting for them. 

"Are they gunna fit us all?" She wondered out loud as she was loaded in. She sat next to her cousin and watched as her mother was carefully lowered in. Her aunt and another two women she didn't know got in as well, and they all started to grab as many things as they could before the boat was untied. Mako quickly looked behind them. "Wait! What about dad?" Her cousin flinched at the familiarity of the words, but she ignored them. We're was he? They couldn't be leaving him behind-

"He's coming." Her mum assured her. "He doesn't need a boat." 

And sure enough, dad, along with several other men and women, were walking on the water behind them. 

"How are they doing that?" Shin wondered out loud, echoing her own thoughts. 

"Magic?" Mako guessed, unsure herself. 

"Chakra." Answered her grandmother, from another boat as they cast off as well. "The energy that flows within us all, that some talented individuals can use to their advantage." 

Mako's s jaw dropped, and she was suddenly on the end of her seat, wanting to hear more. "How?" She breathed. 

"By being in tune with one's own body and soul." She said, with great wisdom. "Your father is a gifted swordsman and shinobi, and he is one of several talented men and women to wield mystical blades." 

 

"The fish-fish?" Mako asked. 

Grandmother Hinode chuckled. "If that is what you call it, yes. The hiramekarei allows your father to channel his chakra into the blade and use it to fight." 

"Like on the beach..." Mako said to herself. "Do you think I could have chakra?" She asked. 

"You certainly are your father's daughter," Hinode said, mulling the idea over. "With the right teaching, I'm near sure you'll be able to wield chakra, child." She smiled. 

Mako rested her head on her hands, watching her dad walk along the water. "I hope I'm like him." She smiled to herself. "He's really cool." 

\----

Her grandmother was more forthcoming about what was going on around them then her mother was. They were in the middle of- her mother hadn't exactly told her, but her grandmother had told her the proper word for it- a civil war. And she was somehow tied up in it and running away from her home to who knew where. That was where grandmother Hinode stopped being so forthcoming. Mako didn't think anywhere new could be that great, if there were was killing and fighting and war around them. 

She held her face in her hands as the boat rocked from one side to another. She hadn't gotten seasick, not like her cousin, who had thrown up at least twice already, but it wasn't pleasant being crammed into a tiny little wooden boat. The fog didn't help matters. 

Those who could walk on water, but weren't meant to be on guard, like her dad, carried lanterns and pulled along some of the boats with luggage strapped on. Mako couldn't tell the difference between her own, and some stranger's belongings, but she didn't quite care anymore as they kept traveling. They had seemed to cross a whole ocean of nothing but fog and frost before it finally thinned out and they could see land. They had suffered through cold nights and freezing days before they finally touched the shore once again, and Mako was face down in the dirt, happy to finally have something solid underneath her. 

Her cousin was somewhere puking in a bush- the transition from water to land screwing up his stomach once again- but Mako ignored the sounds of his retching as she bit down on a piece of dried meat one of her clan members gave her. Jerky was one of the few things keeping her alive these days, that, and a whole lotta bread and butter. 

She watched as a thick wet snowflake touched down in front of her, soaking into the dirt as she chewed away. She had seen snow before- back home. But she shivered just thinking about traveling in it. She could just handle the frost in her little jacket- she didn't want to imagine how cold it could get without proper clothes. 

Eventually, she found out. 

The clan had to continue on without their carts, since they were left on the other side of the shore. Mako's mom held tightly onto the young man that carried her, wrapped in a dozen blankets. Sango had told her that he was another distant cousin of hers, kani- something or other, Mako didn't care. She was too cold to remember. Her hands were numb and shaking, and she had to keep tucking them under her armpits to warm them up again. 

She was wearing several of her own clothes- ones mum had packed in a hurry- along with two pairs of gloves, and three pairs of pants, which made bending her knees hard. Shin was wearing just as much too, as he trekked on ahead of her. They both were tied around the waist with rope, so they couldn't get lost in the snow- and it was easy to lose your way when you could barely see six feet ahead. Mako had to keep defrosting her glasses every four minutes. Eventually, one of the lenses broke with the sheer cold, but she didn't say anything. There were bigger issues at hand. 

Mako now knew why her dad liked to keep his hair long, as she watched him out in the snow; long hair was like another way to keep warm. And it was cold- but he showed no sign of stopping, as he stood and kept guard over them all, always looking out into the snow, where she saw nothing but white. Sometimes she thought she saw something, but it was either just the snow playing tricks on her, or another blonde-haired, pink eyed clan member keeping a lookout. She wondered if there was anyone after them at all now. 

As she held tightly onto the rope that was her lifeline, she watched her dad flick through several quick hand signs, as the snow began to slow down. He really was something. Her dad, the ninja. Mako kept wondering if she could be one too, if she had chakra at all. Could she be able to stop the snow one day? Could she create fire without matches and keep her family warm? If she had chakra within her, could she keep her cousin safe and from crying ever again? 

Her rope finally lead her into the protection of trees as the single-file line of war refugees continued. Mako had lost track of time, of how long they had been traveling by then. It felt like years, but it could only have been a month or two. The rations she was getting now had become smaller, and her stomach had disapproved for a long while before it stopped rumbling. She only felt sheer exhaustion now. She had forgotten what it felt like to have a bath, and instead washed her face with snow, like all the others. Her cousin no longer cried for his dad- tears dehydrated the body, and water needed to be heated up by a fire in order to be drunk. Snow just made your thirstier. 

Mako counted her footsteps, and watched the trees go by her to bide her time. When her legs had grown tired, she carried on until she couldn't anymore, and only then somebody carried her. The clan had fashioned big sticks together and created sleighs, and Mako was able to cuddle with her mother then, on top of their luggage as they pushed forward. Mako couldn't image how it must feel not to be able to walk, when her family had to run themselves ragged everyday and every night trying to get away. She tried to keep her mother comfortable as they went on, tried to keep conversation going. There wasn't much to say. 

When the nights blended into the days, and Mako thought she couldn't take another step, couldn't last another hour, it was then, finally, that they made their destination. 

It was a small shanty town on the edge of a lake, with small cabins and boarded up windows that they made their home, and Mako couldn't have been happier. They unloaded their things, and her clan divided themselves up and shared as much floor space as possible. Mako was given a whole room for her family- mum, dad, aunt and cousin rolled out their respective sleeping beds, and huddled together as the wind howled outside, and the cabin walls battled the harsh winds each night. They shared the cabin with two other families- the youngest, a girl, nearly seventeen, with pretty brown hair and freckles on her nose, who her cousin developed a bit of a crush on. 

"-dummy." Mako smacked him upside the head when she caught him watching his new lady love. "You're related to her- that's gross." 

He shrugged, not knowing the difference. "She's pretty." He said, a small smile gracing his lips. 

Mako sighed. At least he was smiling again. "That is so wrong." She grumbled, pulling her blankets closer to her. She did not want to be part of one of those clans. The ones who married cousins and second cousins. Bleh, disgusting. 

She decided she wanted to know more about her family, and sought out the head of the clan itself. Grandpa. Though, she was rather reluctant finding him.

"Well," he said, looking down at her from his smelly pipe. "You've certainly grown since we moved." 

She had seen very little of the old man, but heard he was always at the front of the party, since day one. After they moved in, she had avoided him. Only a little. Something about him liking Shin more than her- and how whenever she looked his way back home, he had been watching her. Something like that. 

Which is why she dragged her cousin along to go talk to him. Little guy still had stars in his eyes whenever grandpa came up in conversation. She still didn't know why, but she used it to her advantage. 

"Me and Shinju wanted to know more about the clan, Grandpa." She said, looking up at him, trying to look like the perfect grandkid. 

"Shinju and I-" he corrected, puffing on his pipe. 

Crotchety old windbag.

"-but I'd be happy to teach you about your heritage." He continued. "The Kameko clan's history goes very far back, and our course is a very noble one." He cracked open an eye, peering down at them. "Well?" He asked. "Sit down and pay attention. This is very important." 

Mako sunk to the floor, resting her head on her hands as she crossed her legs. Her grandpa raised a grey eyebrow and glared down at her. 

"Sit like a lady-" he nearly growled, before puffing on his pipe once more, filling the air with thick purple smoke.

Mako gagged on it as she tucked her feet under her and placed her hands in her lap. 

"Straighten your back-" he said woodenly, as his cane came out from nowhere and fixed her posture. Beside her, shinju snickered, not having to sit pretty and face their grandfathers wrath at all. The bastard.

"Allright." Her grandfather sighed, giving up. "I'll begin," he took another long puff on his pipe. it was almost like he had memorised an entire history out of a book-

"The Kameko clan was once, a very old, and well known clan amongst the many countries that make up the elemental nations. Their skill in fuinjutsu and in the medical arts, nearly rivalled that of the uzumaki at some great points in history, but as their name grew, so did their enemies. Throughout the years, there were many who took up the role as heroes, wielding legendary strength and skill against their adversaries– clans like the Uzumaki, the Hozuki clan and especially the Kaguya clan. After the turn of the century, nearly all branches of the clan were wiped out by war, disease, or inner conflicts. Many of which abandoned their heritage, but those who did stay with one another, collected amongst the newly formed hidden villages, their talents welcomed amongst others with similar goals. The clan expanded outward, and accepted new members into its inner folds-"

He paused, taking another puff from his pipe. "Like your father." He explained, looking down at Mako. She nodded and waited for him to continue, and didn't miss the hint of disdain in his voice. 

"-what made the clan special, was their ability to father children with a unique ability to control and synchronize with a certain tailed beast. Monsters of Legends. Living chakra created when the sage of six paths walked the earth and created the beginning of all things-" 

"Wow- really?!" Exclaimed Shin, leaning forward to catch every world their grandfather said. 

"Yes." Grandfather sniffed, wanting to continue with his lesson. 

Mako didn't let him though, "how do they control them?" She asked, very, very interested. If chakra could be alive and they could control it, didn't that make them special somehow? was this what her mother was talking about? Could everyone in her family control living chakra beasts?

He looked down at her, taking a few moments to compose his answer. "When a baby is in the womb it's sensitive to the chakra around it- wait." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Neither of you know how babies are made yet." 

Mako gave him a halfhearted shrug. Shin just gave him a confused stare. “babies are made?” he asked curiously. 

Grandfather sighed. "-Never mind. A topic for another day." He continued on. "Inside the womb, babies, like the both of you, are just yet growing their chakra coils- they're undeveloped, and as such, are very sensitive to anything that can disrupt it." His hand lit up with light blue energy, and both children leant forward slightly, drawn in like a magnet. 

The old man continued uninterrupted. 

"Tailed beasts have very distinct chakra, in fact-" He set down his pipe, and soon enough, his other hand began to glow with energy, he tweaked the colour, so it glowed a warm red in his palm. "Tailed beast chakra is almost completely different from our own. It's poisonous to the touch." He explained. 

Both little students nodded their heads, sucking in all information. 

"After generations of exposure to this poisonous, tailed beast chakra, perhaps you could say our clan has build up a special affinity with it." He said, and the bright swirling energy on his palms curled beneath his fingers. "As new generations grow inside their mothers, the babies are exposed to very, very small amounts of this chakra. It's enough so that when the baby is born, they too, can control tailed beasts some day, and protect their family, you understand?" He looked down at them both, awaiting their response. 

"But..." Started Mako. "You said it was poisonous. Wouldn't it hurt the baby?" She asked, looking up at him. 

"I did say that, didn't i?" He said deep in thought. Both hands glowing a calming blue and a warm, swirling red. "Quite often, the process fails." He stated calmly. "The tailed beast chakra is too much, and-" he slammed both hands together in one swift motion. "-the child dies before its born." 

Mako and shinju looked at him with horrified faces. 

"It's a delicate process, but a noble one." He continued, undisturbed by their reaction. "Both of your mothers have found the sacrifice worth it- they both suffered through several failed pregnancies before you were born." 

Mako felt sick.

"The stress can sometimes prove fatal, to some mothers." He said, finally turning to look down at her. " It's the reason why sango can no longer walk- the circulation in her legs was cut, though her life was saved, her legs were not." 

"I'm... The reason she can't walk-?" Mako choked, looking down at the floor suddenly. 

"In short, yes." her grandfather said curtly. "Though you didn't even receive the clan's ability when you were born." 

"So mum suffered for nothing." she said numbly. 

She felt like crying. How many years has it been, that her mother suffered? How many times did mum cry herself to sleep, knowing that she could never walk again? How many times did she give birth, only to lose her baby and have her heart broken? How could she smile, after she had given up her body, her home, and nearly all of her possessions? What kind of clan were they a part of? That sacrifices their unborn children, just so they could control living chakra beasts? Was it even worth it? 

They were the last remaining members of a dying clan, with a questionable history, in the middle of a civil war. Mako could count thirteen, maybe fourteen blonde haired, pink eyed people bedides herself, her mother, aunt, and cousin. So few left, and yet, there they were. Huddled amongst one another, trying to keep warm as the winter raged on outside. 

As she watched them from her bedroll, she felt an old ache inside her heart. She didn't belong with them, a talentless extension of their blood but not their ability, and yet she still felt guilt- for what they had suffered through, for the countless children and mothers who had passed before their time, for how many more who lost their way, she felt sorry for them. She mourned for faces she didn't know, as the winter passed. She watched with heavy lidded eyes as the snow dried up, and flowers began to bloom. She was chained to this bloodied and dying family, as the seasons shifted, and the sun came out.

And she watched, as another member of her family died, to continue their struggle with the poisonous living mass of energy that her clan had dedicated itself to. The three tailed monster of legends. 

"Mom?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG authors note and explanation on what just happened:
> 
> I had to create and piece together a whole clan and history so this story could make more sense- I'm very sorry for any cannon inconsistencies that I'm not aware of, I’m just one person after all. What I tried to explain, was a very real mechanic in the story, which a character does have, and does use, to control the three tails, I just simply turned a "mysterious ability to synchronise with the three tails" into a clan ability, and gave it a background and reason as to why it's there. I hope it doesn't come off as too confusing, and I'll be (maybe) touching on more of the Kameko clan's history and whatnot as the story progresses. There's already two characters I've linked to this clan, and if anyone can guess who they are, they'll get a cookie, or something. A pat on the back. I'm poor, I can't give you much. Pale hair and pink eyes tho. That's a cannon thing. Not me wanting to make them look cool.
> 
> As always, leaving a review can always motivate me to keep writing (even if I really should be writing my other story, spellbound) and constructive criticism is always appreciated, so long as it isn't too harsh. I can take it, I'm a big kid. 
> 
> changed the clan's name to Kameko once I heard it means 'child of the tortoise' even though it's apparently a first name and for a girl. Ah well, artistic licence and all that.


	4. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally plot stuff, finally dark, depressing theme, finally i get to unleash all the horrible horrible angst i have planned for poor baby mako

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the same night I wrote the second and third chapters. Look at me go. It's three in the morning, and I just can't seem to stop. (please make me stop)
> 
> I should probably space these out. And maybe rest, for once in my life. I still have a week of vacation left. And another story I should be writing. Hm.

\----

Chapter 4. sacrifice. 

\----

"Mom?" 

Shin's voice carried down the hallway as her cousin watched his only living parent get carried in on a stretcher. 

As he ran to her side, Mako could already see the lifeless pallor in her pale skin, and saw the way the light cast over her face, making her face look taunt, and cheekbones jut out. She had been beautiful in life- but in death, it was like looking at a whole other person. 

Mako preferred life more. She already missed the way her aunt's face looked when she was alive. The rush of blood in her cheeks that came as aunt suiren smiled, the way her pale hair fell down her back, like a silky waterfall. she missed her aunt’s jokoes and the way her voice sounded- but she was sure her cousin missed aunt Suiren so much more.

Mako held her tongue as her cousin cried in the doorway. She could hear her own mother crying behind her, from her chair, near the fire. Mako saved her tears for later, when nobody could see her. She swallowed the growing knot in the throat, as she had to choose between cousin and mother. Which to comfort. Who needed her more? 

Her dad took that decision from her, and he nodded towards her cousin as he crossed the room, quickly enveloping his sobbing wife in his arms. 

Once again Mako found herself rubbing his back as her older cousin wailed. He was a year older than her, but she felt ancient standing next to him. 

It was fall again, and Mako had just turned four. Shin was five. It didn't seem to matter much now. Birthdays and parties seemed meaningless when the centre of your world dies, and for shin, aunt suiren was his everything. 

The ceremony held for her was brief- the clan had other things to dwell on. Another four members of its family had died alongside aunt Suiren, but what they had brought back, was much more important. 

While escaping the country was important for the clan's survival, seeking out and capturing the sanbi was equally so. The three tails and the clan went hand in hand, so Mako had learned, after few more lesions from her grandfather. It was the sanbi's demonic chakra that each child had been exposed to in the womb. And it was the clan specifically that made them perfect containers for it. 

She had heard the adults talking late at night when they thought nobody was listening- she could almost hear their voices now, actually. Plotting, planning. Something was going to happen soon. 

As she slipped out from her bedroom, she paused over shin's head. It was late in the evening, but she couldn't sleep much anymore. She felt restless. He was the opposite- all he ever did was sleep. She worried he had fallen into a depression, but she didn't think she could do anything about it. She was four, he was five. Something would give eventually. 

The house was emptier now- the other families that had once shared with them had moved out, other houses had been built up during the warmer months, and the shanty town they stayed in had enough food to keep them all alive through the winter. The clan was surviving, even if it's numbers dropped by five. 

Mako's house was still the biggest- she shared it with with her grandparents. There were some perks to being the clan-heads grandkid, perhaps. Even if grandfather still hadn't warmed up to her. She had given up on being friends with him a long time ago. He just rubbed her the wrong way- being a constant disappointment to the man kept her far enough away from him to notice how off he was. Grandmother Hinode couldn't stay in the same room as him for very long- weren't they supposed to be married? Mako hoped her parents wouldn't ever act like that.

Voices carried down the hallway, and Mako held her breath as she tried to keep quiet, edging closer. 

"-was it even worth it? Was it even worth throwing them to the wolves for?!" The voice of her mother cried. She sounded distraught. For good reason, her sister was dead. "Suiren-" she choked on her name. "-left her child fatherless, and now motherless. Did you even think about him when you sent her away?" 

"She understood the consequences of her actions, should she die during her assignment." The voice of her grandfather replied. "But if you think I wasn't keeping her family- my family, in mind, when I sent her on that mission, you are poorly mistaken!" He thundered. Mako could hear the slam of his cane as it met the old worn floor. 

"Suiren is dead, dad." Her mother repeated, in a hoarse voice. She sounded like she was crying. "We can't bring her back." 

"And it is with a heavy heart that I lay her to rest." He sighed. "But her sacrifice-" 

"Don't call it that!" Sango argued. "She was killed. She didn't sacrifice anything, she died." 

"It was not in vain." Grandfather argued, trying to make her see sense. "Your sister, and the others who died alongside her, brought back the sanbi with the very last amount of strength they had. They died so our enemies would not rise to power once more." 

"Our enemies." Sango said bitterly. "And what do you think we'll do with the power of the three tails?" She asked. 

"Use it wisely this time." Her grandfather answered. "Yagura was not to be trusted. His mind was too easily swayed." 

"And yet, Kirigakure is burning because of him." The voice of Mako's father stated. She could hear the disapproval in his voice. 

"Yes," her grandfather replied. "But now we have the Sanbi in our possession again. We can fix our previous mistakes." 

"Starting with the sealing of a new jinchuuriki." Her grandmother said bitterly. "Ryõshi, this plan of yours will kill us all."

"This plan, Hinode, is for the good of the clan!" He argued. Mako stood right outside the door. "You've blinded yourself in your old age- this is what is best." 

"Best is sending your daughter to die?" Hinode asked, her voice breaking. "Best is breaking families apart for your own little power trip?!"

Ryõshi growled. "Woman, hold your tongue-" 

Mako could her her grandmother spring to her feet. "Is it truly what's best for the clan, husband?" She all but spat the word at him. "Or is it best for you? The Sanbi has brought the world nothing but pain and death." 

"The world has changed since your glory days, Hinode." Ryoshi sighed, ignoring her accusations. "In order to survive we must change as well. We cannot protect ourselves alone anymore- ninjutsu has evolved to be stronger and faster than what we've once dealt with."

"So you plan on making bigger enemies? The Sanbi will draw them like moths to a flame." She paced around the room nervously, wanting to leave. "Killing a kage only make things worse." 

"It was the only way to secure the tailed beast." Grandfather argued. 

Mother's soft crying had stopped once she realized something. "Who are you planning on using?" Her voice broke at the end.

Grandfather remained quiet for a few moments. "My plan was to seal Shinju."

She heard all adults in the room react at once.

"You can't possibly-!" Her grandmother cried. 

"He's just a little boy!" Her mother exclaimed, slamming her hands down in the ground. 

"After the trauma he's been through?" Dad growled. "It would kill him." 

"I know." Ryōshi said solemnly. "But a five year old has a much better chance at survival than a seventeen year old. There are no children close enough to an acceptable age. There would be even less a chance." 

"Is there no other way?" Mother begged. 

Grandfather paused. "I've heard news that one of your cousins is pregnant." He said carefully. "A younger vessel with a link to the three tails... If the woman carries to term of course..." 

"God-" father cursed. "This is sick-" 

"You're honestly considering a newborn child?!" Hinode exclaimed. 

"I would rather die than be a part of this– sealing a baby–." Mother choked. "It's inhumane- an unforgivable crime." 

"The kid would have no idea what life without the three tails would be like." Father argued. "They would grow to hate humanity-" 

"I wouldn't blame them." Grandmother grit her teeth. "There's no justifying the sealing of a jinchuuriki- we cannot allow you to do this." 

Mako could hear the tapping of grandfather's cane. "The beast must be sealed before it breaks out of its container." Her sounded agitated- almost worried. "Regardless of right or wrong, a jinchuuriki must be made. And soon." 

Hinode stopped her pacing. "But must it be Shinju? He's been through so much." 

"It will make him stronger." Ryoshi replied. 

"I don't believe that." Said mother. 

Mako, outside the door, willed herself to have a voice. Her family was speaking of matters above her head, but she understood enough to know that her cousin shouldn't have to be in pain anymore. Mother and father said so themselves. And what else could she do besides offer herself instead?

"What about me?." Mako said, opening the door and walking into the room. “Couldn't I be the one to do it?”

"No. Absolutely not." Her hands were balled up into fists, the knuckles turning white. "Mako, that was very brave of you but-" 

"Hmn..." Ryoshi said to himself, deep in thought. He stroked his fine white beard as she looked at her with new eyes. "The link between her and the sanbi could be enough- despite not inheriting the clan trait..." 

"No! You can't be taking this seriously!" Sango exclaimed. "She's my daughter-!" 

"Sango-" her dad put a hand on her arm- steadying her. "Breathe, love. We'll figure something out, but we have to keep our heads." He locked eyes with Ryoshi. "And think rationally about this." he growled. 

Mako padded over to her parents and held right into her mother's hand. "I want to do it mum." She reassured her. "For Shin." Mako turned to her grandparents- both of which had watched the family's exchange with grim expressions. "Make it me" Mako repeated once more. 

Hinode pursed her lips and looked to her husband. The man in question took a puff on his pipe. "We shall see, child." He said between a cloud of purple smoke. "We shall see." 

\------

The word jinchuuriki burned her tongue every time she thought of it, but it was the only thing running through her head now. 

Human sacrifice. 

Mako spent the rest of the night sitting and listening to her family argue about the sealing. Despite what she had to say in the matter, her parents were very much against their child becoming a jinchuuriki. For good reason too- offering herself instead of her cousin wasn't something she could just back out of. 

Not that she wanted to back out. She just wished it didn't have to happen in the first place. 

She felt good knowing that she did something noble and took her cousins place, but that meant getting hurt in the process. Like, really really hurt. Maybe even dying. 

Mako didn't want to die. She knew from her books that the world was big and beautiful and she wanted to someday see sharks with her dad and go swimming with her cousin. She didn't want to die- but then, she also didn't want her cousin to either. She didn't want anyone to die. It made people upset and when someone died they always left people behind. 

She was terrified of never seeing her family or her cousin again. She didn't know what happened when people died and she was both curious and nauseated at the chance of experiencing it. People said there would be people waiting for her when she died, on some other side, and others said there was nothing at all. As a four year old, Mako wasn't ready to put her faith into there being an afterlife or a lack of it. 

She didn't know what to do. Mako was stuck in a position now where she couldn't back out, but didn't want to proceed. She wished everything would just go back to normal- before the three tails and traveling and civil war, when she was just a little kid back in her old home where her parents never cried and her cousin still had a family. 

Ignorance really was bliss, Mako realized. Now that she knew what was going on around her, she didn't feel like playing or acting childish anymore- if she ever did after their big move. 

She glumly wondered to herself- as the adults continued to argue into the night- if she could reverse it all and go back to being a kid again. 

Probably not, she rationalized. 

\------

Preparations were made the next following weeks as the leaves began to turn orange and fall for the trees. Mako used to like the autumn, the forest was always such a pretty palette of yellows, oranges and reds, like a sunset, but now all she felt was apprehension and anxiety. 

She watched outside the window as people walked by her house, a few of them sported cream hair, and pink eyes, like hers, but some of them were from the town she had never visited, and kiran wondered where they were headed. Shin sat with her and watched as well, but for different reasons. Despite how much he slept (and he had started waking up past noon now) he grew dark bags under his eyes, and Mako wondered to herself what he must dream about. Sometimes he spoke In his sleep, it was usually just babble, but sometimes he called out for his mother still, and sometimes he even said Mako's name. She ignored it, but it was when he called out for his mother, that Mako allowed herself to grieve for her long-past aunt. 

Mother had taken up knitting in front of the fireplace, and Mako hung tightly to her bright peach sweater. It was warm and soft, and had a star on the front, and it was her favourite piece of clothing she ever owned. Dad had started calling her his 'lucky star' when he tucked her into bed each night, along with her cousin, and she smiled along and bid him goodnight, even if she didn't feel quite lucky. 

Quite often, she felt sad. Lonely, for company and kids her age. Guilty, for her parentless cousin, and anxious, as the days went by and her sealing date approached. She wondered if it would change her. She wondered how bad it would hurt. She wondered if she could still be a shinobi, after this, like her dad. She wondered if she could still go to school and make friends someday. 

Probably not.

Her fate was sealed, just as the sanbi was going to be, inside of her. Like some sort of jar trapping a fly. 

A big stupid buzzing fly that everyone wanted to catch and bottle up in children for their own benefit and-

Mako stomped down the hallway in her bare feet, not caring how loud she was. She passed by that pretty brunette clansman of hers that Shinju liked so much, and Mako frowned even deeper. Shin had no idea what was going to happen. As far she knew- he had been kept completely out of the dark about what almost became his responsibility. and it sucked, because now Mako was keeping a very big secret from her only friend. The sanbi had killed his mom, and his dad had died protecting the clan so they could go and get it- Mako wondered if he would hate her if she told him. He deserved to know… but then, Mako didn't know if she could handle him hating her for what she would become. He was still so young, despite what his personality was now. He was quiet and more reserved- he had lost his childish innocence a while back, and Mako was seeing less and less of him these days. She wouldn't blame him if he found other friends. 

Mako's fate was bound with the clan now. She didn't expect many opportunities to go and play with kids her age. Who would want to be friends with a kid who had a demon inside them?

She didn't know how Shin would react...if he found out…

Would she really tell him? when?

She could hear him down the hallway, training with their grandfather. Training to fight, training to-

Mako would tell him. She would tell him soon. She just needed to get him alone-

“Correct your stance, child.” her grandfather said as she opened the door to the training room. She wasn't supposed to visit when they were sparring, but Mako didn't want to wait. 

“Shin?” Mako asked, her voice traveling across the padded room. her cousin lowered his little wooden stick. “I want to-”

“You're interrupting his training, girl.” her grandfather said, looking at her coolly. something had changed in his eyes after she volunteered to be the host of the sanbi. It wasn't disapproval behind his glare now- it was calculating. like her was weighing her up- seeing her more as a new tool, instead of a disappointment or a waste of space. “State your business, or leave.” he sighed, lowering his own training stick. 

“I want to talk to shin.” Mako said again, balling her hands up in the sleeves of her sweater. would he hate her? would he understand? “about- um, about-”

“-can it wait?” shin cut her off this time, surprising her. he never used to that before. “I really want to keep training.” he said, looking back at his grandfather, who looked rather pleased. 

“Oh, um.” Mako jerked her head, yes. she stood awkwardly in the doorway, not quite sure what to do with herself. 

Her grandfather grunted to get her attention. “Close the door if you're going to stand there.” he circled around his grandson. “Maybe you learn something by watching, child.”

Shin had barely started training a couple weeks ago, and it showed as he took awkward swipes at his elder. The old man didn't even move as he countered each blow with his stick. her cousin had barely even started before his weapon was snapped out of his hands rather violently, and he was sent backwards onto the floor. Mako cringed, and was thankful the floor was padded. 

“Again.” their grandfather said, watching his young student rub his backside. “You won't get stronger by sitting around, child. retrieve your weapon.” he stated, falling back into an easy stance. 

“Does that mean you want her to be weak?” shin countered, getting back onto his feet and gesturing to his cousin. “She's sitting, after all.”

Dang, the kid was more clever than she gave him credit for. Mako looked at her grandfather carefully, watching him, as he stared between the two of them. 

“Can she train too?” shin asked hopefully. maybe this was a new way for him to still hang out with her. would he still want to be around her when she told him what was going to happen? 

The old man’s eyes scanned her over once again. Shin clasped his little hands together, nearly begging. He sighed finally, and Mako was finally thankful for Shin being the family favourite- his puppydog eyes were killer-

“I'll… allow it.” her grandfather finally said, turning to address her. “You must be able to handle the responsibilities given to you, girl. here-” he handed her his stick. “your first lesson, is against your cousin.” 

she looked between them both. “why?” she asked. “Wouldn't it be better if i learnt the stances first?”

“This of this as… a test.” her grandfather explained, giving them both space to spar. “first last one with their stick wins, don't hit hard enough to bruise.” he said, and then, suddenly, she was up against her best friend. 

How did she not see this coming?

Shin fell easily into his stance, and Mako tried to copy him to the best of her ability. they weren't even using training swords- more like poles that were far too thin to cause any damage, a training sword of a training sword. the ones for little kids. Mako wasnt that embarrassed, but the little stick in her hands just reminded her how young the two of them were- four and five. what sort of life was this, if children this young had to learn to fight?

Whap!

Shins stick came in contact with hers as she awkwardly blocked it with her own. she felt the vibrations in her hands as she went to block another one. 

Whap! whap!

She had absolutely no idea what she was doing- she was pretty sure Shin didn't either, but at least he had something of a clue-

whap! 

The two sides of their sticks crossed, and Mako held on tight with her hands. she regretted wearing her good sweater for this test. 

whap-!

Shinju’s stick slid down the side of her pole and hit her fingers, she dropped her training sword by reflex, and pulled her red fingers to her chest. 

“Sorry!” Shin said sheepishly, looking between her hand and their grandfather. 

The old man sighed and looked at her as he pulled out his pipe. “Do it again.”

Mako held the stick in her hands once again- sweaterless this time. It was cold in a tank top, but she didn't want to get slowed down. 

Whap!

the sticks clashed again, Mako copying shin’s stance as well as she could. 

Whap! whap!

after she dropped the stick a third time, she had long forgotten the reason for coming to see her cousin in the first place. she focused on her clumsy footwork, and the five-year-old pitted against her. 

Whap! whap!

Her fingers were stinging as the stick clattered to the floor, and her grandfather took a long puff on his pipe. 

"This world does not tolerate weakness." He said, watching the children as they fell back into position. "Do it again."   
\------

Mako and Shin practically dragged each other down the hallway when it was supper time- grandpa had made them spar right through lunch, and would have made them kept going, if their grandmother had not interrupted.

"Honestly," she sighed as she pushed them down the hall. "Ryoshi gets carried away sometimes, I'm sorry children."

"S'kay gramma." Mako said, struggling to for, words. Everything was just so heavy. 

"It was good though." Shin smiled exhaustedly, rubbing sweat off his forehead. "I think I'm getting better than before." 

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Mako pouted. "You're five, you don't need to fight people." 

The blonde suddenly got very serious. "I do." He said with a steely expression. "Grandpa said I can get strong and protect my family- and if I can learn how to fight, then nobody has to die anymore." 

Their grandmother sucked in a breath. "Oh, shin-" she knelt down to meet him at eye level, "I'm sorry, sometimes it just happens, you can't always stop it." 

He looked up at her with wide eyes. "But- if I can't do anything-" his voice broke, and he started blinking quickly. "don't want you all to die-" He turned to his cousin and quickly grabbed onto her arm. "-Mako, promise me you won't leave-!" 

Mako swallowed. "I promise you, shin, I swear." She held onto both of his shoulders for emphasis. " I won't die, okay?" She gave him an awkward smile. 

He nodded."I'll protect you, and you can do the same! And we can all live together and be safe." He ruffled her hair and started pulling her down the hallway again, grandmother in tow. 

Mako huffed and followed after him. She desperately wanted to talk about something else to lighten the mood.

"What do you thinks for supper?" She asked in perfect time for her stomach to make a noise. She patted it thoughtfully. 

"Steak??" Her cousin responded. 

Mako scratched her chin. "I'm hoping fish." 

Their grandmother sighed to herself. "All you ever eat, child, is fish." 

"It's good!" Mako defended, running ahead of them. 

"Yes, well, not everyone will agree with you." Grandmother joked, following both children. 

"Dad will agree with me!" Mako exclaimed, running into the main room. Sango, her dad, and three other clansmen were already sitting down to eat. 

"What am I agreeing to?" Her dad asked, pulling back his long dark hair. 

"Fish." Mako said very seriously, crawling up next to him. "Its the best. You gotta agree." 

Ichigo shrugged, looking up to shin and grandmother. " Sharks Gotta stick together." He said, kissing Mako's forehead. 

“I’m pretty sure they don't.” her mother said wryly. 

Mako ignored her. "So what's for supper?" She leaned over her plate to get a better look. "Tuna? Salmon?" 

Her mum reached over and tucked her loose hair behind her ears. "Potatoes, rice, and-" 

"Steak!" Shin exclaimed, pulling the plate towards himself. 

Well, at least her cousin would be happy.

\-----

It was chilly outside as Mako padded across the deck that night. Shin had started snoring and had kept her dip for an hour, and despite how tired she was, she didn't want to lie around thinking all night. 

So, she decided to go outside and think all night.

Her breath formed little clouds in front of her as she looked up at the stars. The deck was cool under her back, but she was still warm from her bed. 

Was she making the right choice? 

She knew it was too late to go back on her word, and she didn't want to make shin or some other poor kid go through with being a jinchuuriki, but... A lifetime of being the container to a monster wasn't something she looked forward to. She was scared of what could happen- scared of the pain she would go though, and scared of how her family would treat her afterwards. 

Would they treat her any different? 

Definitely. 

Would she be any different? 

That... Remained to be seen.

She sighed and rolled her head to the side, pressing her cheek against the cold hard wood. The stars were beautiful out and she was upset. She wished it would rain- would it kill the weather to sympathize with her? How insensitive, she grumbled to herself.

"You should be asleep." The voice of her grandfather said, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Fatigue will not do you well, tomorrow." 

Mako looked up at the old man. His arms were tucked tightly into the sleeves of his robes as he frowned down at her. "What's tomorrow?" She asked, sitting up. 

He gave her a level stare. "Your sealing." He stated, barely moving an inch. 

Mako's whole body tensed. "I didn't know it was tomorrow." She said woodenly. "I thought I had more time..." 

"Yes, well," The old man shifted from one foot to another. "Time makes fools of us all." His frown deepened. "Get to bed, before you begin to have second thoughts." 

Mako numbly nodded and got up. "It's gotta be me." She said, more to herself than him. "I can't let Shin get hurt anymore." 

Her grandfather sniffed. "The boy is not as weak as you give him credit for. His pain gives him strength." 

Mako looked up at him. "That doesn't mean he should hurt more." 

"Perhaps." He said, turning away from her. "What would you say for yourself? What strength do you think you have?" 

Mako watched him walk away until she could no longer see him, before she turned to go as well. 

"I don't know." She whispered to herself. "But this is the only way I can protect him." 

\------

She felt like she was marching off to her own funeral. 

Her eyes were cast downwards as she was lead outside of her house, and into the woods by a man she didn't know. He had the same features as her clansmen did. Her darker features and sharp teeth made them stand apart quite obviously, and for that, she was grateful. She loved being part shark-dad, part mum. And she loved being their daughter, and shin's cousin. She loved being a little kid and growing up with them. She loved them even still, as she rolled up her shirt, and was instructed to stay still as her grandparents painted her with thick, dark bloody ink, in complex seals up and down her arms, to the point where nearly every inch of her was covered. She then laid down, as instructed, and waited. 

She watched with far too old and sorrowful eyes, as the wooden container trembled beside her, waiting to break free of its bonds. She didn't blame her parents being nowhere in sight. She didn't want to be there either. She didn't want to see her mom cry again, it would break her resolve. It would break her heart and spirit. Mako was doing this, so her cousin didn't have to. So another unborn baby didn't have to. 

She wondered if the kid would make it. The baby belonging to the woman she had heard so much about, who she had never met before. 

She hoped it would. 

Mom and dad had spent the entire day in and out of her room- so much so that she almost urged them to stop their erratic behaviour in case Shin caught on. He was the only one now in their entire clan who didn't know what was going to happen. She guessed she should be grateful, really. If he didn't know, then there was still a chance they could still be friends. It was something she held onto as the sealing started- that, and the fact that she would still have her parents, and her grandmother. 

Mako's eyes nearly popped out of her skull as the seals activated. She threw back her head, and howled as the demon chakra trickled into her. Mako thrashed and cut herself against her restraints as the evil demon chakra was sealed so deeply inside her very being. She could feel her soul weep, feel it crack under the pressure. Her young soul, mixing with the ancient, timeless creature as they fought for space inside the body of a child. 

Mako tasted blood, she tasted fire, she tasted death as the sealing went on- it was only minutes since it started- her heart seemed to stop at every beat, to be choked by the demon squeezing its way through her chest- and to be started once again by the need to keep going. It wasn't her own need- it was the three tails, it was her grandparents, it was the people holding her down, and her cousin crying himself to sleep every night. It was the primal fight or flight response that made something choose to fight instead of turn over and die. 

Mako burned. She burned for six hours straight. 

Past the two hour mark she had already screamed her vocal cords out. She wasn't allowed to fall into unconsciousness, and she had cried so hard, for so long, she wasn't sure if her tears were made out of water anymore, for all she knew, she could be crying blood. Dehydration was killing her- she had sweat, cried, spit, foamed at the mouth, and lost every other fluid her body could have possibly made, during those sixteen hours. Her shame meant nothing to her. She felt like she was already dead past the three hour mark. 

She didn't think she could even hear anything, when an exhausted and muffled, "Eight Trigrams Sealing Style!!" Signalled the end, and Mako was left lying on the ceremony table, feeling every inch of her skin want to peel away from itself. She could feel it swimming right under the surface of her core. She could feel how angry it was. She could feel it's age, and it's thick, heavy breath in her lungs. Like it was breathing down her windpipe, rotting her from the inside out. Poisonous didn't even scratch the surface of how the three tails felt inside her. She couldn't even describe how the three tails felt inside of her. 

She couldn't black out, and couldn't move, as her grandparents slumped over on her side exhausted and sweating. Mako couldn't even bring herself to care, all she felt- all she was, was the demon inside of her. Waiting to break free. Testing its new cage for a way out. 

It wouldn't find any. Her grandparents made her sealing complete and near-perfect. The one who held the key to breaking the seal, was Mako herself. 

And if she desired it, the beast would be locked up forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-------
> 
> trust me, i know, making this oc-insert a jinchuuriki is suuuuuch a sin- its killing me to do it, but it's part of the story and what drives the plot forward. i wouldn't have made her a jinchuuriki if the three tails didn't catch my eye, and i had some leeway in the canon since the sanbi is literally just wandering the wilderness when it makes its appearance.


	5. Disappearing act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which nobody is surprised that everything sucks now and grandpa is a DICK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on mobile its basically impossible to spell jinchuuriki properly so i had to go back and edit like 3 chapters verily late at night before i posted these….

\----

Chapter 5: disappearing act. 

\----

Shin stared up at the face of one of his clansmen. 

"What do you mean I can't see her? Is she alright??" 

The man crossed his arms, holding his ground. "Take it up with your grandfather, Shinju. Nobody is allowed to see the container until it recovers." 

He motioned for him to leave, and a few minutes later shin was walking down the hallway to his grandfather's room. What did that man mean by container? Didn't he mean Mako? And was she alright-? All he knew was that aunt Sango and uncle Ichigo had been acting strange last night.... Maybe they were sick with something? He hoped mako wasn't sick too. That would be awful, they wouldn't be able to play and spar for a while. 

She'd get better though- he knew that. She had promised him that she wouldn't…...

She'd be fine. She had promised him. 

He glided down the hallway in his socks, sliding on the old boards in his socks. Mako was always so loud- her have to get her some good quiet socks when she got better. Blue- maybe green. 

"Grandpa- is Mako gunna be okay soon-" he had enough confidence to open the door without knocking. Inside, shin's grandfather stood feverently arguing with Mako’s father and several other clanspeople. 

"Ryoshi, this is madness-! You can't-" the clansman immediately shut his mouth the moment Shin walked in. 

"Is there something wrong? Why are you yelling at grandpa?" Shin asked, immediately rushing over to stand next to him. 

"It's fine, Shin, we were simply having a discussion." Grandfather soothed, patting shins head thoughtfully. 

"Was it about Mako? Is she okay?" Shin asked, the words leaping from his mouth. 

"She'll be fine." Grandfather said stoically. Shin looked up at him, eyes wide- begging him to tell him more. 

"She's..... Recovering." He amended, breaking eye contact. 

Shin gripped onto his sleeve, forcing grandfather to look at him again. "I want to see her-! I need to see if she's okay!"

"She is." Grandfather said gruffly, pulling his sleeve away. 

"Promise me then-" shin urged. "I won't listen to anyone else- if she isn't okay-" 

"-You have my word, child." Grandfather said exasperatedly. "Your cousin is in the best care our clan can provide- she's important to us-" he faced the angry gathering of clansmen. "-She's important to all of us now." 

"She is?" Shin asked quietly. When had grandfather ever said that about Mako?  
"She is." He said again, reassuring himself. 

Maybe Grandpa was finally warming up to her. Soon enough hey could all be a real family again. 

\---

The container of the three tails lay motionless in bed. Only the sound of its soft breathing and the constant flutter of its heart indicated life.

But that wasn't how the container felt- dead, empty… well, actually, the opposite of empty, but not in a good way. 

It took so much concentration for the container to remember that it's name was Mako- that they were around four years old, and that they had once been somebody's daughter. The container tried really, really hard to focus on those facts. Between remembering to breathe, and remembering not to swallow her own tongue, mako tried to focus on her life before the sealing. 

But God- it was so hard. 

Very few words could describe the feeling of the three tails inside of her. Poisonous didn't even scratch the surface of what demonic chakra felt like- even with it gone and sealed inside her, she could still taste the putrid, acidic aftertaste in her mouth. Like battery acid.

The sanbi was under every inch of her skin- every pore, every molecule in her body- and it poked and prodded for a way out. Her skin felt taut and stretched now. Like it was wrapped around the beast, barely enough of it to go all the way around. She felt like she'd burst at the seems- the thing keeping her from doing so was the searing, burning seal on her stomach. The only thing holding her together now. 

Mako shivered, the hair on her arms standing up on end. Sanbi quivered beneath her skin, just scratching the surface of its cage. 

It never really occurred to her just how alive a tailed beast could be. Living chakra after all- it was in the name. She didn't think too deeply on how alive it could be. Dogs and cats were alive, and they were reasonably intelligent, right?. For an animal.

The sanbi wasn't an animal. It was on a disturbingly human level of intelligence, without being remotely human. It witnessed the ebb and flow of time around it- it saw the rise of man, the fall of villages and communities- it was timeless and ageless. 

It spoke to her- she didn't know what it said, but it was language nonetheless- it spoke in growls and long, deep sounds that were sometimes too low for even her to hear. And it was inside her head- inside her chest- reverberating deep down from some hidden depth inside her that even mako didn't know existed. 

It was so presently there, under every surface of her being, and yet... So .... Deep down. She didn't have words to describe it. She had enough trouble breathing with the beast inside her, let alone find the words. 

She didn't know where she began, and where the creature ended. She could feel the three tails in her lungs, feel it's breath in her throat as she took each shallow gulp of air. She wasn't breathing for two- they were breathing as one now. 

There was so much...Wrongness... That came with being a jinchuuriki. A rebellion against her own human nature. She couldn't fight the beast, couldn't flee from it. She was left just... Laying in bed. Breathing. Existing. She couldn't move her arms, or leave her room- every movement felt like horrible searing pain. Like fire in her veins. From the demon chakra fighting in her system. 

She lay there for hours. Throughout the night- just laying there. She couldn't sleep with the sanbi awake- she didn't think she ever would. She wondered if she would die from never falling asleep- wouldn't the exhaustion do it? She already felt like she couldn't go on anymore. It could be anytime now. 

Dying seemed like a pretty nice thought. Not having to feel the sanbi inside her... It sounded Like a good option now. Just ceasing to exist- not having to feel or think- or- or anything-! God, she just wanted it to stop! She didn't want to hear the growling anymore! She didn't want to feel it under her skin! She wanted her childhood back- she wanted her body back. She didn't want to feel so... Broken... Anymore. 

Was this what other jinchuuriki felt like? How many others were there? Could she ever... Meet one? Somebody like her? Or was she the only one. What if all the others killed themselves because they couldn't handle it. What if jinchuuriki died at a young age-? at least then she wouldn't have to be like this for long. 

A soft tapping at her door reached her ears. It wasn't the first visitor, after her parents, but the sound still jarred her. 

God, she just wanted to disappear. Maybe her visitor was coming to end her suffering finally. If she couldn't beat one night of being a human container, how could she handle for a lifetime? 

She didn't turn her head to watch the intruder enter. They padded across the room quietly enough, lighter than dad but heavier than shin. It definitely wasn't mum- unless mako turning into a demon somehow fixed her legs.

(A little voice in the back of her mind whispered that everything would just be better if she was never born. She agreed with it.) 

"It has been two days since you ate, child." The intruder said, gently placing a bowl on her nightstand. 

Mako blinked, moving her eyes away from the dish. Why eat to prolong the inevitable?

The intruder sighed, and mako felt her bed dip as they sat down next to her. "Your parents are worried about you. Why didn't you talk to them when they visited?" 

Mako lowered her eyes, focusing on the pale sheets of her bed. They had a fancy inlay that looked like waves. She filled her mind with bright swirling whitecaps as the visitor reached out to tout his her hand. It was cold- like ice- compared to makos blazing hand. She wanted to jerk away from their touch, but grit her teeth instead. 

"Sango has been stress-knitting again... I don't know what we're going to do with it all if she keeps up like this," they laughed, nothing like the airy sound her aunt used to make. 

She didn't know if she should feel bitter towards Suiren now. Knowing she was a part in her sealing definitely soured her feelings towards her... She actually believed that getting the three tails was worth her life- that it was worth leaving shin alone forever. Mako couldn't forgive her for that. But... It wasn't like she would see her aunt again. 

"It started snowing last night," the intruder said thoughtfully, looking at the curtained window in her room. "Maybe when you start feeling better you and shin could build a snowman... I can ask this afternoon." 

Mako rolled her head over to look at her grandmother. "I don't want to see him." 

Hinode looked mildly surprised she got a response. "He's been asking about you all day," she frowned. "He's worried something's wrong with you." 

"Something is wrong with me." Mako muttered, staring up at the ceiling again. "I'll just end up killing him or something." 

Her grandmother was silent for a few moments. "...do you feel as though the seals will break?" 

"Constantly." Mako murmured, digging her head deeper into her pillow. It was cool against her blistering skin. "It's... Always trying to break out." 

"It'll stop eventually." Hinode reassured, placing her freezing hand on mako's. "You'll adjust after time."

"-stop that." She snapped, jerking her hand away. The muscles in her arm burnt as she moved it, and she gingerly set it back against her side, cringing as she did so. 

"I- sorry, dear." She apologized, taking her hand away and scooting back a bit to give her more space. It was appreciated. 

Sanbi prodded its cage once more, letting out a deep moan from the depths of its cage. 

Mako stiffened, hands digging into the fabric of the bed. The hair on her arms stood on end and she waited for the noise to die down before she even attempted to understand what her grandmother was saying. 

"-after so little time has passed," she stopped, seeing mako struggle with her seal. "...can you lift up your shirt for me, my dear?" 

With great effort she did as she was told. The fabric felt so delicate in her hands- like she could rip it to sheds at any moment. With so much demon chakra in her... She could rip a lot more things than just cloth...

"Hmm... Not as strong as I would've liked. " Hinode muttered as she observed the seal on mako's stomach. The ink bent and twirled as the sanbi swam about inside her. "May I?" She asked, her hand hovering above the seal. 

Mako jerked her head, trying to drown out another moan from the monster inside her. 

As Hinode placed her cold hand on her seal, she lit up her palm with chakra- prodding at her work more efficiently than she would've been with a brush or her own fingers. The dark ink lit up a bright blue when disturbed. Mako shuddered again as the three tails rolled in its cage.

"I think I'm going to throw up again-" mako moaned. Was this what it was like to get seasick? Poor shin. 

"You can't afford to lose the water- here," Hinode took one of her hands off her stomach and shoved a cup towards mako. "Drink it. You need to eat too- it isn't good to starve yourself like this." 

"I don't want to feed it." Mako muttered, looking down into the cup. 

Her grandmother sighed, finally leaning back and leaving her seal alone. Mako's stomach quieted down slightly, the sanbi still rolling about in its prison, but less disturbed now. 

"Your parents would be very sad if you died," Hinode said carefully. "Shin too, I expect. You are his best friend, after all." 

Mako pursed her lips. Wasn't shin... The reason she did all of this in the first place? What if it was him suffering in bed like this, wanting to die? 

"After losing both his parents," grandmother murmured, "you, Sango and Ichigo are all he has left." 

Mako frowned. "He has you and... Grandpa..." 

Hinode shook her head. "The two of us can't fill the space his parents left- your parents might not replace them, but it's a close enough fit." She sighed, smiling slightly. "Besides, you act more like his sister than any cousin I've met." 

"Like... A sister?" Mako repeated. When she thought about it, shin was everything she imagined a brother would be like. And this way... It was almost like her family was adopting him. Mako looked down at her water again. 

"Drink it," Hinode growled, pushing the cup up to her face. Mako had no choice but to do as she was told. 

It wasn't much, but in the end mako was chugging down a second glass and the food her grandmother had brought earlier was long gone. Her grandmother sat triumphant, smiling down at mako in her little victory. 

"This doesn't change things." Mako muttered as she shoved her dishes away. 

"Perhaps," Hinode allowed. "But it's a start. I'll be back later with your lunch, this afternoon, unless you want a snack sometime?" She asked, clearly wanting her granddaughter to say yes. 

Mako frowned. "I'll be fine." She insisted, waiting for the woman to finally leave her alone. Not only had she broken her silence, but she had been tricked and guilted into eating. Pathetic. 

Hinode rose from the bed to pad across the room. Mako noticed almost immediately the way her grandmother swayed slightly- and she nearly jumped out of bed to catch her when the elderly woman lurched and caught herself on the wall, her frail arms keeping her from falling to the floor. 

"Grandma- what's wrong- are you alright??" She asked quickly- sitting up in her bed. 

"I'm... Fine, thank you dear," Hinode grimaced, before pushing off the wall and straining up. Her face was paler- her eyes slightly unfocused. "I'll see you soon, child." She said, giving her a final forced smile before leaving. 

Mako stared at the door for a while, trying to make sense of what just happened. Here her grandmother was- strong, unshakeable, experienced- finding to difficult to cross a room without nearly collapsing. Was it something to do with the sealing? Surely Hinode hadn't been this weak beforehand... Had sealing the bijuu in her granddaughter made Hinode sick? Could someone contract sickness from a tailed beast? And did her grandfather have it too? 

Not that mako would miss the guy terribly if he died, but her parents probably would mourn his loss. The clan probably would too, since he was their leader or something. Clan head? Titles weren't that important to mako. 

Still, if something bad happened to grandmother.... No, it wouldn't. Mako shook the idea out of her head. Their clan was great at sealing and medicine, somebody would figure some thing out. If they couldn't, then Hinode could just sit and knit with mum all day, and they could keep each other company. And maybe then mako could finally get a full-body knitted bodysuit. Man, wouldn't that be cool?

\----

The next few days she spent in her room as well, although mako had been itching to go outside and let the cool air breeze over her feverish skin. When she was bedridden, she had barely noticed how her skin had reacted to the heat of the demon chakra- other than how hot it had become. What she now found was that, during the sealing, she had acquired a collection of welts and burns from where the chakra seemed to ooze out...or something. Mako wasn't exactly sure if chakra could ooze at all, but the burns were there and she couldn't quite explain them all. She had marks on her wrists, from where she was held down, and she had similar ones on her ankles as well. On her stomach, where the hands of her grandparents had been, were ten little welts, in the shape of two hands. Five larger and more spread out than the other. From her grandparents, most likely. She wondered if their fingered were similarly scarred. It was horrifying to think that the heat of the demon chakra could melt a person's fingerprints right into someone else's skin- and mako tried really hard not to run her own fingers over the welts. She hoped they would go away soon. 

Other burns were harder to explain. Like the ones on the outer sides of her calves and the inner areas of her thighs. Some burns followed where she imagined veins and arteries would be, while others were completely random. Most of them were focused on her hands and feet, and while they didn't hurt her so much when she tried walking or picking things up, they were sore and the skin was always uncomfortably hotter than the rest of her. It lead to some strange sleeping arrangements, since she just couldn't leave her feet exposed in the night (because monsters might get them) and she always wanted to tuck her hands under her pillow for support, which, after a while, resulted in really sweaty hands and a gross pillow. 

It wasn't as though she slept at night still- it was much more like she fell into a calm sort of state where her mind fell into a dull buzz with her eyes closed. The sanbi was beginning to show signs of stopping it's prodding at her, but every time it did, it jolted her awake once more. At this point of exhaustion, the sanbi resembled a bad case of hiccups compared to what she felt a few days ago. If she kept awake, maybe the beast would just give up completely and die from boredom. 

It was a completely sound plan, and it most definitely would have worked too if her grandmother hadn't noticed and put her to sleep with chakra. Cheating, really. If Hinode wanted mako to do what she wanted, she would have to ask next time- mako had put extra effort into snubbing the elderly lady the next few meetings. It didn't matter if she was sick, using chakra on her without her consent was breaking her trust in the woman, especially since mako had tried really hard not to hate her for having a part in her sealing. 

She had only slept for a few hours, but even that was enough to make the three tailed more lively when she was eventually prodded awake. It hadn't been gentle either. She had woken up with a lurch so violent it made her sick, to the point where she was throwing up all over again. It wasn't as bad as when the sealing had finished, but her throat was red and raw once more, and the taste of bile wouldn't go away, no matter how many times she brushed her teeth. 

She had seen her parents twice since she started talking. The first time she was quiet and withdrawn, she didn't want to look her parents in the eyes and tell them that she didn't want to exist anymore, for fear of what they might say. They were happy she was talking and recovering, and just so damn supportive of her it made her chest hurt. They almost made her feel like everything was going to be okay in the end, like the sanbi didn't exist and she was still their little girl. It didn't matter though, because the three tailed most definitely was inside her and they couldn't do a thing about it now. 

The second time they visited, she all but shoved their well wishes and support in their faces. Who were they to tell her that things will get better in the end? She was a monster- the living container of a sea monster. Nothing they could say would ever make up for the fact that she was doomed to a life of fire and chaos. The only thing that could ever make things right would be her death, killing the sanbi along with her. When she told them this, her mother had all but stormed out, if she could have that is (another cause of mako’s dreadful existence- robbing her mother of her ability to walk, as if Mako didn't remind herself enough of this fact). Father was quiet and held Sango back before the two of them left, mako telling them she didn't want to see them for a while. 

It was harder being alone, with nothing to distract herself from the sanbi. She couldn't spend entire days in bed anymore now, since she had so much more energy than before. So, she spent a majority of her time running around in circles in her room. She needed to burn off the energy, and it didn't hurt to get stronger with a giant target painted on her back, right? She even tried doing a few push-ups, and was terribly annoyed that she didn't at least have abs after an hour of intense exercise. The world was a cruel, hard place to live in to say the least. 

She even thought about asking her grandparents to teach her how to use chakra, since she probably would need to at some point. She didn't though, because that would mean addressing the fact that she also had... Demon chakra in her, and she really really did not want to use that. Not when she was just recovering from her first big dose of it, right into her soul... Or body.. Or... Whatever. 

Really, was the sanbi sealed inside her body, or was it inside her soul? Or was there something even deeper than that? Like.. Her chakra? Was chakra something other than her soul or was it generated from the same thing? Where ghosts just some sort... Of chakra thing??? Did that mean they were real? What about the afterlife- of spirits and death gods? We're they all real and tangible or did she just have to have blind faith that they existed, even if she never saw them? Did she have to choose? 

Why... Was she thinking about this... 

The thing was, mako was a really curious person by nature, and not knowing important stuff like this was driving her half-crazy. Being stuck in the same room for the past two weeks probably didn't help either, but man, what she wouldn't do to go outside and cool off. 

The little glass window in her room was the one thing mako looked at now. It was just so nice and cool against her skin when she pressed her face up against it... 

Hold on a second. She was a goddamn jinchuuriki- she could leave whenever she wanted. Least of all her room. What.. Was stopping her from.. Just reaching out and hopping out the window...? 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. Maybe someone would get worried she was gone, but really, who could blame her for wanting some fresh air and a change of scenery??

Mako quickly scampered across the floor to the window. She unlaced the little metal clasp, and immediately, she could feel the cool winter air on her face- but a little breeze wasn't enough. She wanted out. 

She was on the second floor she discovered, looking at how far down the ground was. Everything was covered in a thick blanket of snow though, so... Would it be safe to jump? It wasn't like... It would hurt her, right? It was just snow. A lot of snow too- shed just land softly, dust herself off, and be on her way. It was a good plan, really. Mako just needed to find some way to get back inside once she did it. No way was she climbing up the side of her house in the middle of the wintertime. That was just crazy. Jumping out of a second story window to play in the snow though, that was a good idea. 

She braced herself as she carefully opened the indie farther and stuck both her legs out. Snow fell and began melting on her bare feet, and she wiggled her toes as she watched more powdery snow fall outside. Falling wouldn't hurt that much, right?

She took a final breath, gripping the window with both hands, before she pushed off and began falling down, down, down towards the snow-

She landed harder than she though, and all the air quickly rushed out of her lungs in a great whoosh. The snow had caught her, but she had sunk deeper than she thought- and had ended up with everything up to her shoulders buried in snow. 

"This- this is unbelievable." She wheezed as she tried to get her arms unstuck. Having the breath knocked out of her was Not Fun. 

It took some work, but she eventually crawled out of her little hole after several minutes of solid digging before she got out. It helped that she was a living furnace for the moment, since the snow seemed to melt away from her. 

Once she was up and free of her snowy prison (ironic, since mako was a prison herself) she trudged her way into the forest behind her house. The trees were coated in powder and she almost smiled to herself as she pulled on branches every so often, making little avalanches. 

The whole forest was quiet while she walked- completely and utterly asleep while the snow kept coming down. It was twilight- the time when the world quieted down and people went back into their houses to have supper. She wasn't... Hungry herself... Really... But she appreciated the thought of her family sitting down to eat, her cousin probably piling his plate far too high, while Hinode scolded him for trying eat too much. Mother would elbow her and tell her to let him eat while dad would sit calmly, observing everyone even though it looked like he was focused on his own food. Grandfather.... He wasn't a part of mako's happy family thought. He was cold and mean and- she decided- grandfather would be eating outside in the cold. Yes, out in the cold where he felt bad and said he was sorry for being mean to everyone. 

Her aunt and uncle were there eating too of course- happy and alive and making sure shin was happy. In a lot of ways, her vision was exactly like what her old life was when she was younger- plus an exiled grandpa. 

Her glasses had fogged up during her walk, and she stopped to wipe them off on the hem of her shirt. She was thankful that she didn't end up losing them when she fell, though she had to do some searching to actually find them in the first place. One of the lenses was still cracked down the middle, and she had to be especially careful she didn't pop out the broken pieces and lose them in the snow. There was no way she would ever find them again until the snow melted, and that would take months. Water country was always cold and wet, and wintertime lasted twice as long as most seasons- though, according to mum, there were other countries in the world that were snow all the time, regardless of what time of year it was. Some places in wave even stayed cold all the time, and it blew her mind. Imagine, a winter wonderland all the time? Sure, travelling in the snow was godawful, and being freezing cold was dreadful, now that she had her own heater, it didn't matter as much. She could stay out in the cold all she wanted, and didn't have to worry about freezing! 

The three tailed prodded at her once more, and she had to pat her seal to make it quiet down. Yeah, sure, maybe there were good things that came out of being a human container. Maybe. Being warm didn't mean she wanted to be a jinchuuriki forever. She would gladly trade it for a good blanket or a cup of tea. But, unfortunately, that was not how the world worked. 

She brushed through the thickest part of the forest to a little clearing. Sitting down in the centre, she decided to make a little snow version of herself. She stacked a few balls of snow together to make something that resembled... A few balls of snow together. Mako frowned, adding eyes and digging up some rocks to make a mouth. 

Snow-mako looked up at her with a tortured expression, as if all it wanted was to be kicked over and forgotten as a horrible, horrible mistake against nature. 

She made a shin snowman next to it, putting pieces of bark on for eyes. She made a mouth out of the stem of a leaf, and snow-shin looked... Rather repulsed, sitting next to snow-mako. 

The two snow copies looked absolutely dreadful sitting next together. So much so that she kicked them both over to spare them from having to exist.

In truth, she really did capture her own contempt for life and shins depression. Maybe she really was an artist after all. She was debating weather or not she should bring them back to life when she heard the sound of sticks snapping somewhere out in the woods. 

Should she hide? Was it someone looking for her? Would she get in trouble for being out like this? Should she really... Care now? She had a monster sealed inside her. Nobody with half s brain would dream of hurting her, right? 

"Who's there??" She asked defiantly, standing up in the the snow. 

She could hear someone crashing through the snow and branches before she saw anyone- 

The first person who made it to her was one of grandfather's guards. "Jinchuuriki- you are not permitted to leave the compound-" 

She flinched at the words, drawing away from the blonde haired- pink eyed man. "I wanted to go outside, it was-"

He took a sharp step forward, quickly grabbing her arm in a vice-like grip. "Until the clan head allows it, you are to stay in your room until-"

Mako jerked out of his hands, reeling from his touch. Her arm stung, as if she could still feel his fingers. "I don't want to go yet though-! It's been weeks!" 

He thinned his lips, his eyes looking right through her. "You resist the will of the clan?" He hissed, taking a step back. "Very well- Ryoshi will be most displeased." 

Mako barely had a moment to react before the clansman downed a pill- swallowing it and activating some sort of ability. He ran through several hand seals- far too fast for mako to follow- before raising his hand, and slamming it down into the ground. immediately, something jerked inside mako and she too found herself half buried in the snow. 

It didn't matter how much she tried to resist, her arms and legs were too weak to fight whatever power the clansman had over her- the seal on her stomach burned through her shirt, right into the snow, melting it around her. The sanbi rolled and struggled inside its cage- almost suffocating, drowning, as the clansman grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and started dragging her back to the house. Her legs trailed limply behind her, useless. 

As they made their way back, several other blonde haired, pink eyed guards found them. "Shun-lee, what's the meaning of this? Is the vessel..?" 

Her clansman- the one still dragging her, answered. "It resisted. Tell Ryoshi that we located the host." 

"Got it-" one of the men answered, disappearing almost immediately. 

"He's going to be so unhappy she got out." Muttered one man, escorting them back. Four others nodded, looking apprehensive. 

After a while, mako was slung over someone's shoulders as they walked. It was at a quicker pace, and her head thumped against someone's shoulder blades rhythmically, bruising the side of her head. Her limbs ached again- sore from being useless and in an uncomfortable position, but also from the burns on her arms and legs. Briefly, it was like she was on the sealing table again, with her clansmen holding her down. She almost swore she saw similar burns on some of men escorting her, but it was only for a split second. They started moving faster and she just couldn't keep track of all that movement slung over someone's back. 

They got back to the house in less than five minutes, all the lights were on inside and she could see people pacing inside. The group stopped just outside her grandfather's room, and she was (not-so-gently) placed on the ground just as Ryoshi stormed outside. 

"Child you have made a dangerous mistake leaving the area." He growled, pink eyes flashing as he did so. "Do you realize how foolish you were? How close you were to handing everything away to the enemy?!" 

"I'm sorry- I don't mean to-" Mako quickly felt her eyes water up, ignoring her tears just as she was ignoring the three tails rolling around in its cage. "I just wanted to cool off." 

Ryoshi took a sharp step forward, and for a second, she thought he might hit her. He could've- if she didn't have a weapon inside her she could release at a moment's notice. She saw the very same thought run through his head- locking eyes with the old man. 

"Frivolity like that will get you and your family killed." He said, cold as ice. "Your status as a jinchuuriki requires you to be more careful- you aren't allowed to simply walk away from your responsibilities, you belong to the clan now." He frowned, narrowing his eyes at her- bright pink as well. "You belong to the clan-" he repeated. "-to serve and protect it will your life. You are nothing without them, you have no future- do you hear me?" He hissed, grabbing her chin and dragging her closer- his fingernails digging into her skin. 

"I- I- yes." She hiccuped, hating that he had so much power over her. 

His hand moved from her chin to the top of her head, pushing her face down until her forehead was on the ground- bowing before him. "You will never exist outside the clan." 

"I will never exist outside the clan-" she repeated, empty and hollow inside. She chanced looking up at him once more- but had her head shoved down again. She could hear Ryoshi pacing in front of her. 

"You'll return to your room." He said, still pacing as she pressed her nose into the floorboards. "I'll put this past us-" he said stopping suddenly, "-if you No longer bring shame to the clan. Tomorrow you'll be up before dawn, to train. As you will be for the next day, and the next. You'll be trained to protect the clan and what it stands for- understood??" He said, pulling her up to his face by the roots of her hair. 

She had to grit her teeth to keep from crying out as he tore out locks of her hair. "I- yes-! I understand grandfather-" 

"You will address as me by my title, vessel. I am not your grandfather anymore." He hissed. Mako could feel his breath wash across her face, and she felt her skin crawl. 

"Y-yes, Ryoshi- sir- clan head." She fumbled, wanting to tear herself away from him. Eventually, he dropped her, letting her crumble to the floor. Her legs were numb- utterly useless. 

"Bring her to her room." Muttered Ryoshi, instructing two blonde haired clansmen to pick her up and carry her back. 

Mako hung limp in their arms as they padded back to her bedroom. They tossed her back onto her bed and promptly left her to herself once more- locking the door behind them once more. Mako's eyes drifted over to the window she had left through, to see it bolted shut, and price of plywood covering up her small window of the outside world. 

In bed once more, the container of the three tails curled up in her sheets, and wished she could disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-------
> 
> I have no idea if "synchronizing with the three tails" even works like that, especially with A jinchuuriki, but you know what, artistic licence and all that. Let's go with it. It was only ever used on the sanbi without a host, so its not like i have a bunch of canon-insight for it

**Author's Note:**

> Send me some input if you want more!


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